Random Acts of Honesty

I got given this mindset journaling prompt by a coach: What would I be afraid for people to find out? Now go and share it.

Ahhhhh! That brings up SO many icky feelings. YES, I want to be honest and authentic, but on the internet, really? Do I have to? Yes. I’m challenging myself to share the stuff I don’t want to share for two reasons:

1. I hope it encourages you - by knowing that not everything is perfect in my life, I hope that you get strength from that and know that everything doesn’t have to be perfect for you to be amazing.

2. Because I don’t want to have any “secrets”. I want to feel FREE. If I share the truth about my life, then no one can expose me, right?

Okay, here’s to random acts of honesty:

• Even though I run my own business, I also do freelance work (social media management) on the side to ensure a stable income every month. In coaching, some months you’ve got lots of clients, and then sometimes you have none. It can be super scary. Before I got my freelance job, I spent a month wearing sunglasses inside because I’d broken my regular glasses and couldn’t afford a new pair because I didn’t have any clients that month. I even went to the movies and had to wear them, haha! I’ve casually mentioned it before that I do freelancing, but I’ve been scared to “announce” it, because I worry people won’t think I’m successful enough to hire me if I don’t earn a full time income as a coach. But I know I’m a great coach - and the number of clients I have month to month has nothing to do with my coaching skills, only my marketing skills (which I’ll admit, I need to work on!).

• One of my biggest fears is a media storm. When the Everest Film came out in 2015, there was this one article done about me, titled “Sarah Arnold-Hall: Where Is She Now?”. I’m scared that one day, someone is going to find my blog and my business and share it with the world before I feel “successful enough”. I’m afraid it will get international coverage like the last one, and I’ll have my half-done website and cringe YouTube videos broadcasted to the world before I have a chance to prove what I can really do. Kind of like if it were your first time painting a portrait in art class, and then halfway through, someone showed it to the whole school. You’d be like, “Wait! Don’t show everyone, it’s not ready yet! I can do better! Don’t judge me based off this!”. Haha - a silly example, but do you know what I mean?

• I compare myself to others success - not often (doing mindset work on it!), but when I do, it’s ugly! I’ve been procrastinating creating YouTube videos because I feel like my house isn’t “pretty enough” like other YouTubers. And if my house isn’t pretty enough, then people won’t think I’m successful enough… blah blah blah.” You know, it’s really interesting writing these out - I can see where I need to do more mindset work! I’ve spent the last 2 weeks irritated that our walls are painted Magnolia and not White. Of course, I won’t let it stop me long term, but it’s amazing how the silly details like comparing yourself to other people can make you procrastinate!

• Body confidence is a thing I’m working on, particularly on loving my beauty spots. I’ve spent at least the last 10 years disgusted that I have two brown spots on my cheek. I’ve tried loads of makeup to cover them up, always made sure to be photographed on my “good side” and spent far too much time analysing dermatologist websites to see if they can remove them. What a waste of time! It’s only in the last few months, after finally realising that I can’t get them removed without scarring that I’m trying to come to peace with them. I can hear how ridiculous this sounds as I’m writing it. There are people starving, and I’m worried about two marks on my face?! But the self confidence and body positivity movement doesn’t seem to include slim women and men. And I think faces should be included in the body positivity movement too!

• I get messages every single day from strangers grieving for me that I lost my dad. It’s the most bizarre experience to pick your phone up at breakfast, and lunch, and dinner and find that someone is sorry for your loss that happened 23 years ago, before you were born. It feels a bit like I’m attending a virtual funeral every time I open my DM’s. Sometimes there are even voice messages of people in floods of tears. 95% of the messages are from men, and at least 10% of them also contain a request to date/meet up. I’ve been proposed to 6 times on Instagram messenger. And one guy actually straight up told me we were getting married, he didn’t even ask. Haha! However, apart from the really weird messages, I do appreciate the love I receive, and I’m incredibly grateful for every kind and loving message. If you’ve ever sent one of those and I haven’t replied, it’s because I get hundreds of messages every week. You can show your support by engaging with my current content (and then I might reply!). I’ve been afraid to share this, because I don’t want people to think I’m not grateful. I just want you to know I’m happy and I don’t reply because I don’t want to talk about it with everyone all the time.

• I owe my boyfriend $2000. I feel like “debt” is something people don’t talk about enough. We hide it, because we are all trying to give off the appearance that we’ve got our entire lives together. I’m here to tell you that no one has it all together. And it’s okay if you have debt. It doesn’t make you a lesser person. It just means it’s time to learn to handle money better! (Guilty!)

• I’m afraid to talk about the Everest film online incase it defines me. Right now, people know me for that. I hope to become better known for who I am and what I do in the personal development world, that people find me for me and learn my history afterwards.

• I live in an apartment with other people! (Why is this so taboo? Sorry I don’t own a house at 23 haha!) When my partner Daniel and I moved to the UK, we had the option to rent a house to ourselves, or share a house with other people. We actually make a conscious decision to move in with other people, because we were afraid of becoming isolated (especially since I work from home all day in my business and as a freelancer). It costs the same to get a room in a flat in central Brighton as an entire 3 bedroom house in Cardiff.

• I’ve never had an alcoholic drink in my life. I went through 3 years of partying at University and never touched drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. I’m afraid of talking about it even though I KNOW it would help someone out there (would have really helped me to have more role models who didn’t drink!). I’ve had conversations before with people who judge me because they think I’m judging THEM for their actions by not drinking. But my decision not to drink has nothing to do with you. Most of my friends drink, and I don’t have a problem with that! But I still get embarrassed telling people I don’t drink sometimes. Working on it!

I think that’s enough truth serum for one day! I actually do feel a weight lifted of my chest. If you feel called to write your own Random Acts of Honesty, let me know! (I would love to not be the only one sharing her secrets on the internet!).

Personal Development Capital of the World

If you want to do fashion, you go to New York.

Country music? Nashville.
Film? London.
History? Rome.
Acting? Los Angeles.
Technology? Silicon Valley.
Plastic Surgery? Beverly Hills.

Where do you go for Personal Development? My hunch says Los Angeles. But I've personally seen LOADS of events in Phoenix, Arizona (and been to one there myself!). I’ve been told Sedona, Arizona is also packed with spiritual events.

Why am I asking? Well, if you are really serious about acting, you don’t choose to live in a small town.

You do whatever it takes to move to Los Angeles (or London). It shows you’re serious. It puts you at the best chance of a breakthrough.

So, if you really want to throw yourself into Personal Development, where do you go? SO much of it is online now. But that doesn’t beat personal, face to face events and connections. You can still be online in the capital city - so why not move there?

My UK visa will end in July. And then what? The world is my oyster! I could move almost anywhere. So I’m seriously considering moving to the capital of Personal Development - wherever that is!

Any idea? Leave me a comment by clicking on the title of this post!

The goalercoaster

You know the bit on the rollercoaster where you’ve been going up up up and then SUDDENLY you drop over the edge and your stomach is still in the air, and they dangle you upside down for what feels like forever and you almost throw up on the person next to you?

That’s what I felt like today. I had a moment today working on my business where everything seemed to go wrong in the space of 5 minutes and I was thinking, “ahhh, when do I get my BREAKTHROUGH?”

I’ve been working and working and working on my business for a year, and I AM seeing results. But some days, they seem to be coming very sloooowly. And I’ll be honest, I sometimes want to pull my hair out.

Am I even on the right path?! How do I know? Why did my launch strategy not go as planned? Will I EVER be as successful as I’d like to be? Why did I pick TODAY to go on a salad detox?

I’m not telling you this because I don’t believe in my goals. I 100% do.
I’m just telling you because I want to share that I have that voice inside my head just like everyone else, telling me I messed up.

I was actually having a conversation with my friend Georgia today about this one girl from our university who seems to have it ALL sorted. The house, the relationships, the job, the holidays, the outfits - everything. And I thought, I wonder if people think I have it all sorted? Because I wouldn’t like to give that impression!

I do NOT have it all sorted. And I’m totally okay with that! I want you to know YOU don’t have to have it all sorted either! Setting HUGE, impossible goals is a wonderful, fantastic, brilliant rollercoaster that I CHOSE to get on. And I wouldn’t get off it for anything. I love being on this goalercoaster (okay, excuse the cheesy phrase, I’m not expecting it to catch on).

It’s ironic, because yesterday my daily blog was titled “the best job ever”. The thing is, I still believe that.

The lows can be low. They can suck. But the highs are worth it 100x over.

So I’m taking a break this evening, but I’ll see y’all on the flip side of this goalercoaster.

The best job ever

For a long time, I’ve used strategies that have worked for me to make major changes in my life, but I haven’t been sure if it’s just ME. Maybe they only work for me and the way that I think about the world. But then I share them with my clients, and suddenly they can change a habit they’ve been struggling with for years. Or they can do something they thought was hard, and make it easy. That’s the best feeling in the world, knowing that my work is impacting my clients’ lives. That’s why I LOVE being a coach. I get to help other people create a live that they love, overcome their fears and bad habits, change their mindset and watch them grow. And I learn SO much from them.

Coaching feels like the best job in the whole world.

Before I found coaching, I was really, really, really unsure about what I wanted to do with my career. I’d studied psychology, philosophy and religious studies and film at University, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do with that degree. I remember, even as a young kid, really resisting the idea of a 9-5 job. “Wait, so I have to work for someone else, doing whatever they say, whenever they want, taking up most of the hours of the week?"

But I also remember being so embarrassed because I thought people would think I was spoiled or ungrateful or lazy if I expressed how backwards I thought the 9-5 system was. Don’t get me wrong - I work hard. I put in far more than 40 hours a week into my business. But I LOVE it. And I do it whenever I want - in my pyjamas, or at a café, at any time of the day or night, in any country in the world. I report to myself, building my dream.

I truly feel that every one of should get to feel like we have the best job ever? I’m unapologetic now - I think the 9-5 is awful. Not that working from 9am till 5pm is awful (I’ve got nothing against those particular hours) but that the SYSTEM of it is awful. The way so many people feel “trapped” into it. Is that what we should be aspiring to?

I don’t totally pay all of my bills with my business yet. I also do some freelance work too. But as a freelancer, I still run my business, and I’m still my own boss, and I still choose my work hours. I love freelancing!

Working for myself didn’t just fall into my lap. I’ve also had some pretty horrendous work experiences in the past (so bad that a psychologist almost diagnosed me with PTSD - a story for another day!). I’ve had to work really hard at making this lifestyle work. It’s been a long process, but I’m still here. If you guys want to hear more about my journey to becoming my own boss, let me know! But for now I want to leave it at this: If you want to have the best job ever, go out there and MAKE IT HAPPEN.

And if you want help with that, send me a message or a DM, I’d be happy to chat about it with you <3

The day I almost gave up

Today was the first day I’ve questioned if I should write my daily blog. I'm on day 48 of 730, and I was thinking “ah, nobody is probably reading it, and I don’t feeeeel like writing one today, no one will notice if I skip a day… ugh, why on earth did I commit to two years?!” But that right there is EXACTLY why. Because if I hadn’t publicly committed to blogging, today would have been the day I gave up. But instead, you’ll see me still writing it in June in 2021. I hope that by then my images are FAR better (I cringe at the state I’m uploading them in now, which is why one of my September Goals is to photograph 5 high resolution shoots for my blog posts that I am proud to share!). I’m also hoping by 2021 I’ll be impacting more readers, my content will be more and more valuable everyday and I’ll be faster at writing. But for now, I’m so grateful I’ve made this goal of 2 years. It’s time to SHOW UP, and not give up at the slightest feeling of procrastination.

Feeling like giving up? YOU DO NOT STOP. YOU DO NOT GIVE UP. YOU COMMIT EVEN HARDER.

So instead, today has been a day of editing, creating and pushing things FORWARD! (My mantra: don’t be productive, be progressive).

I’m SO ready to start creating YouTube videos regularly, so I’ve been working on my Youtube space - it currently looks like that mess in the picture above! I want to create a space that will remain set up so I can just set up my camera and hit record. I'm planning to put up either a wall of photos or a massive photo inside a huge frame I have. I also ordered a tripod that is multipurpose for both iPhones and DSLR cameras (my last videos have been filmed with my camera balancing on a stack of books, a weetbix cereal box and some PS4 games, to get the height just right!).

I’ve also been editing my latest Masterclass for Impossible Incubator, it’s currently exporting, woohoo! I’m actually going to give you all a sneak peak of it, even if you’re not inside Impossible Incubator yet. Keep your eyes open for it!

Black and white obsession

On of my goals for this month is to take better photographs (and also to create 4 YouTube videos!).

And if you follow me on Instagram you’ll know that I’m a fan of black and white photography - I just think everything looks so much more elegant and impactful in black and white! Plus, it keeps my Instagram feed consistent.

However, it’s clear my photography and videography skills need a bit more work before they will look at the level I desire! So today I’ve been putting together some images of how I’d love my YouTube videos look (It’s been a mental block for me that I feel like I don’t have somewhere good to film/that I always have to “set up” to film. I just want to be able to hit record and go - it’s part of the reason I haven’t been creating YouTube videos consistently even though I have a MASSIVE desire to!).

How delicious are those video shots of Cindy Crawford and Jameela Jamil? Clearly, I have a long way to go, with lighting and backdrops and texture, but I’m excited to be on the path.

If you’ve got any black & white photography/videography tips, send them my way!

Hot vs Cold regret

“You’re not scared to start your dream. You’re embarrassed to be seen starting small.” - Brendon Burchard

I get so many messages and comments about my goals and dreams that I’m sharing with the world. Most of them are positive, few are negative, but many are negative in disguise (hello, backhanded compliment).

“You’re not charging enough.”
”You’re charging too much.”
”That’s a big goal.”
”Your push ups aren’t on form.”
”I didn’t like that video.”
”You should have done xyz"."

(I’m like, bro, where’s your 100 push ups? Where’s your YouTube channel? It’s easier to judge from the sidelines than to get in the game. Don’t take advice from people who aren’t where you want to be).

People will judge you.

It’s true.

But are you willing to look back on your life and let someone else’s judgement be the reason that you didn’t accomplish your wildest dreams? The reason you didn’t live the life you were capable of? The reason you didn’t fulfil your potential?

The thought of that makes me feel ill.

Psychologists distinguish between two types of regret: hot regret and cold regret.

Hot regret is regretting something you did and wished you hadn’t.

Cold regret is regretting something you didn’t do and wished you had.

It turns out that cold regret haunts us more. You’re better off attempting your crazy, wild, impossible dreams and regretting it, than not attempting them and regretting it.

The day I started showing up online was the day I decided I will NEVER let someone else’s judgement decide my fate. I remember the moment. I was in bed and it just hit me out of nowhere, I was like WHAT AM I DOING. WHY AM I STILL HIDING? If I have a message that could help even one person, then I’m doing the world a disservice by hiding away for fear of judgement.

No more.

I love you all. Even the haters.

PUSH UPS: WEEK 4

Just saw this gorgeous display and had to get a snap. Working on taking more pictures for my blog, so enjoy a random display!

Day: 24
Push up ability: 13

After a gorgeous sunny day out, a picnic in the park and a girls movie night (what a girl wants, such a fab film!), I attempted some late night push ups. AND I MADE IT TO 13! That’s my personal best so far! I still need to work on my form, but to actually be able to push up body up and down off the ground 13 times in a row makes me feel so good!

Today is the first day I can feel that my arms are actually a bit achy, and I can imagine I will feel it tomorrow a lot more, because I did lots of reps today to make it to 13 in a row. I wonder how long it will take me to get to 100 in a row. Making progress gets me PUMPED up and so excited to work harder at it.

I haven’t been working consistently enough on doing reps throughout the day, so that’s something I’m going to focus on from here on.

I’ll keep you posted!

I'm on a Podcast!

Ahh! My first ever podcast interview! Today, my dear friend and Mindset Coach, Nicole Middleton, released her Fearlessly Free Podcast, and I’m SO honoured to be her first guest!

We talk about Impossible Goals, overcoming FEAR, deep connection, and a million other things that you HAVE to listen to. Nicole is a brilliant light in this world, so go and have a listen - and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE to Fearlessly Free!

You can find Nicole on Instagram @fearlesslyfreenicole

Click to listen to the episode on iTunes or Spotify!

P.S. did you notice that the first image on my vision board I shared was of a Podcasting microphone?! So fun watching my vision board come to life!

Trying out editing

If you saw my September Goals you’ll know I have a plan to work on my photography for my blog, because I absolutely love reading blogs with delicious photography. I was hoping to get out and take some snaps today, but I didn’t get a chance because I was working most of the day, editing the next Impossible Incubator masterclass. So I decided to have a go editing some photos from our travels in Greece, so I’m still working towards my goal of having beautiful photography, by building up my editing skillset instead.

I also complained today about not getting enough work done - oops! Back to day 1 on the 21 day no complaining challenge.