Hot vs Cold regret

“You’re not scared to start your dream. You’re embarrassed to be seen starting small.” - Brendon Burchard

I get so many messages and comments about my goals and dreams that I’m sharing with the world. Most of them are positive, few are negative, but many are negative in disguise (hello, backhanded compliment).

“You’re not charging enough.”
”You’re charging too much.”
”That’s a big goal.”
”Your push ups aren’t on form.”
”I didn’t like that video.”
”You should have done xyz"."

(I’m like, bro, where’s your 100 push ups? Where’s your YouTube channel? It’s easier to judge from the sidelines than to get in the game. Don’t take advice from people who aren’t where you want to be).

People will judge you.

It’s true.

But are you willing to look back on your life and let someone else’s judgement be the reason that you didn’t accomplish your wildest dreams? The reason you didn’t live the life you were capable of? The reason you didn’t fulfil your potential?

The thought of that makes me feel ill.

Psychologists distinguish between two types of regret: hot regret and cold regret.

Hot regret is regretting something you did and wished you hadn’t.

Cold regret is regretting something you didn’t do and wished you had.

It turns out that cold regret haunts us more. You’re better off attempting your crazy, wild, impossible dreams and regretting it, than not attempting them and regretting it.

The day I started showing up online was the day I decided I will NEVER let someone else’s judgement decide my fate. I remember the moment. I was in bed and it just hit me out of nowhere, I was like WHAT AM I DOING. WHY AM I STILL HIDING? If I have a message that could help even one person, then I’m doing the world a disservice by hiding away for fear of judgement.

No more.

I love you all. Even the haters.