Are you choosing to feel excellent?

Before!

After!

I went to the salon today and it was wonderful, 4 hours of getting pampered (I’m not usually someone who does anything like that, but I got invited to go, so it was such a treat).

But during those 4 hours, I had a lot of time to think, and I realised something kind of phenomenal about the interactions around me. People were sabotaging their own happiness the moment they stepped in the door.

Receptionist: ”Hi, how are you?”
Customer: ”Not bad”

And then another one. And another one. Same thing. “Not bad.”

And I just thought, woah.

What even is “not bad”?

It doesn’t actually give much information at all. Are you good? Sad? Ecstatic? Upset? Excited? Lonely? Warm?

Here’s why I don’t think it’s a good response: when you get in the habit of answering “not bad” to "how are you?” you are training yourself to hear the word “bad” all the time. And your brain is like ‘Oh okay, we’re doing bad today’. And because of something called confirmation bias (searching for information to support your beliefs, and ignoring information that doesn’t support your beliefs) you’ll come up with reasons to support that statement. E.g. I don’t want them to overcharge me, I hope I don’t get a bad haircut, I’m too busy for this… You’re literally training yourself to believe you’re feeling bad, all day long.

It’s like a subtle form of complaining, that you don’t even realise you’re doing.

When someone asks you how you are, it’s actually an opportunity for you to DECIDE how you want to be in that interaction. Do you want the interaction to go negatively? Then use keep using a negative word, like “bad” in the sentence you greet someone with.

Imagine if instead, you started saying “I’m excellent!” anytime someone asked you. Your brain will come up with reasons to support that statement. E.g. It’s a beautiful day, I’m here at the salon, about to get pampered, everyone is really friendly… And you’ll start off that interaction the way you’d like it to go.

(This is especially important if you stand to gain something from that interaction or relationship, right? Because if you want something from that person (or might want their help in the future), it pays to bring a positive energy to the conversation.)

Unless I really am feeling totally rubbish, I try to say “I’m excellent!” because it reminds me that you know what? I AM doing excellently! I’m alive, I’m free, I have food, water, shelter, I’m healthy, I’ve got friends and family and opportunities. Oh yes, I remember I’m excellent! Fabulous! Wonderful! Marvellous! Spectacular!

What a beautiful world it would be if we entered every conversation remembering how spectacular our lives really are.

Bring the fun

Today my friends I had a picnic in the park, and Aysha brought her adorable dog, Louis - who inspired me to change the way I think about my goals.

Louis was racing around the park, yapping away at strangers, having so much fun for absolutely no reason. There wasn’t anything happening - but he just decided it would be a good idea to create some fun. He wasn’t waiting for anyone else to make the day fun. He brought the fun with him.

It made me think about how sometimes when we set goals, we set them so big and so impossible that the excitement turns to dread and anxiety, and we end up feeling like our goals are totally not fun anymore.

However, the answer is NOT to quit, or lower the goal. You set that goal for a reason - you really, really want it. But when you’re under all this pressure to get to the finish line, you forget to enjoy the process. You forget that the fun is in the pursuing of the goal - the fun is now.

But it doesn’t always feel that way. I’m totally guilty of making fun things not fun. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in thinking about what my business “should be” doing, that I forget I started it just for fun! In fact, after we have our basic needs sorted, even life is just for fun! But instead of just ignoring the boring or tough tasks in life, or expecting them to be fun, I believe the answer is to BRING the fun with us.

That’s my new motto, thanks to Louis: BTF, Bring The Fun.

So tomorrow, I’m having a full day of fun. I’m still going to do everything I have to get done, but I’m going to BTF! I’ll keep you updated on how it goes! #ChannelingLouis!

And She's Only 22

Have you ever heard the saying, “you’re never too old to follow your dreams”?

It’s great advice. But if you’re like me and you’re relatively young, you probably think you should wait until you’re older or have ‘more experience’ before you can really do what you want to do. Wait until you’re 30 because THEN you’ll be good enough.

Major imposter syndrome, right?

My age used to be my biggest hang up in following my dream to be a life coach.
I thought, “who in their right mind would want to hire a 22 year old life coach?”

Well, as it turns out, people - young and old - do want to hire me, because I’m actually great at what I do.

But I still had imposter syndrome.

“I’m only 22” just kept playing in my head over and over and over.

Who would hire me? I’m only 22.
Why would they want to work with me? I’m only 22.
Who will take me seriously? I’m only 22.

Until one day, I was at a life coaching event and I overheard someone say about me:

“…and she’s only 22!”

That little ‘and’ made all the difference.

“She’s doing all this amazing stuff, and she’s only 22! I wish I had started at 22. Imagine where she’ll be at 40!”

Suddenly, it was like the cloud cleared in my head.
Ohhhh! My age could be viewed as an advantage.

A tiny shift in perception can change the way you see your whole world.

You’re never too old or too young to start. Your experience is valid, just for being you on this earth, you have wisdom and gifts to share with the world. And honey, this world could use every little bit of help it can get!

So next time you’re feeling inadequate, remember that it’s your own bullshit talking and you get to CHOOSE how you see yourself. Even if you’re only 22.

How I overcame my fear of flying

I have a video for you guys today! It’s all about exactly what I did to overcome my fear of flying, and the steps you can take to overcome it too. It’s not like every other video (believe me, I’ve watched almost every video on YouTube about fear of flying!), it’s not even about planes or flying, it’s about your identity and your mindset. You have the power to change your thinking! I have no idea when I even discovered this cure, but I feel so incredibly free. I feel like it’s my duty to share it! (In fact, that’s what got me to create the video when usually I’d be so concerned about lighting and camera and everything - but I feel like this video can help so many people, I couldn’t wait another day so I just made it!).

Let me know if you have questions, you can comment by clicking the title of this blog post, or on the actual YouTube video itself.

I hope it helps you! <3

Insights from Budapest

Budapest is MAGIC. After 20 thousand steps of walking around the city today, I wrote 15 pages of mindset journaling! I feel so inspired, the people I have met here have absolutely transformed my thinking and my mindset. As cliché as it is - I feel like I’m a different person.

More learning lessons from today:

1. I am abundant NOW. I have everything I need right now to step into the future, ideal version of myself. I choose to step into that identity right now.

2. Changing your IDENTITY is at the core of any problem you think you have. If you think you are a healthy, wealthy, happy person - that is who you ARE, and who you will become more of. If you’re not those things - look what you’re holding onto as part of your identity. Is this problem you have part of your identity? Let it go. Choose a new identity.

3. There is literally nothing stopping me (or you) from being exactly where I (or you) want to be. I just need to step into my ideal self’s mindset and start taking action from the place she would take action from.

I’m so excited to elaborate on all of these concepts over the next few days and really speak about them in depth. I don’t feel like I can do the energy of my excitement justice in writing, I think this has come to a point where video is necessary too. I’M SO PUMPED!

Heading back to England tomorrow as a whole new person with a new identity (might need a new passport?!).

Budapest VIP Day

I feel like my mindset has had a facelift.

How is it even possible to do this much up-leveling in one day?
Today I attended Mindset Coach Susi Kaeufer’s Budapest VIP Day, and the only way I can explain it is like when you know something, but then you hear it another way, and you REALLY get it. That a-ha feeling, that click.

I got that with so many things today. Susi trained us from a workbook and then coached us all individually, which was ah-may-zing!

I’ve just been journaling for 2 hours frantically trying to download all the insights I received from my brain onto paper, and here are my main takeaways:

1. I can actually run my business now exactly the same way I want to run it when it’s as big as I envision it to be - just do it on a smaller scale. For example, in my ideal version of my business, I’ll have a fantastic team of people supporting me and get massages every week. So:
   Hire my first team member now. Even just for one hour a week.
   Get a 15 minute massage every month or two.

2. As soon as I embody the person who meditates/blogs/exercises daily, I don’t need to schedule them on my to-do list everyday. Breakfast isn’t on my to-do list. It’s just a task I do everyday because it’s part of who I am. So why is “mindset work” still on there, when I’ve naturally been do mindset journaling and personal development work everyday for years? (I deleted it from my habit tracker). My to-do’s can graduate to “of course I do’s” (of course I do work on my mindset everyday!).

3. My daily blogs don’t always have to be written ON the day. If I need a day off, I can write one ahead of time. (So obvious, but for some reason I was locked into “I have to write it ON the day”).

4. My youtube channel: Taking the pressure OFF making perfect content and reaching my goal of 100k (still a goal, just removed the pressure that was paralysing me from creating any content at all). Doing it for FUN.
   Journaling prompt: Now that I’m creating content totally for fun with no expectations, what do I want to create?
   This has really made me think. I’ll keep you posted.
   

I could write this blog to be 10,000 words long (I’m pretty sure that I’ve written half a journal full of thoughts already, and I’m not done for today), but I’ll leave you with my biggest takeaway from the day. If you are struggling with ANYTHING, ask yourself:

“Now that I am already the person who X, what would I do?”
(X = is successful/got the A+ grade/got the job etc).

Essentially, imagine you are already the person you’ll become once you’ve achieved the thing you want. What would that version of yourself do in this situation?

Celebrate your wins

Even my face mask had “to do list” written on it, haha! A sign?!

Today I took a few hours today to celebrate my wins in the last week with friends - face masks, delicious food and even an hour of Virtual Reality (that was insanely cool!).

In the last week I:

1. Launched my membership site, Impossible Incubator, something I’ve been working on for 5 months!

2. Ran my first ever mastermind call, and it was FANTASTIC. So many insights of my own about my own goals and dreams (namely: dream EVEN bigger!).

3. Booked a trip to Budapest for this coming weekend to go to a Personal & Business Development event with one of my favourite coaches in the world.

4. Had my best friend Georgia to stay, all the way from Singapore.

5. Connected with a fellow coach to work alongside in the future.

6. Had 3 amazing client calls that were all transformative and on FIRE.

7. Have been showing up every single day online, just liked I’d planned.

8. Have set some even bigger goals and commitments for August & September around my Impossible Goals (Particularly for my Youtube channel & my 100 Push Ups). I’ll share all about them soon!

9. Up-leveled my mindset again. I feel like I’m really getting grips with how important it is to SHOW UP EVERY SINGLE DAY for my goals.

I think it’s really important to acknowledge our successes, no matter how small they are. It can be so easy to shrug off our triumphs day to day as nothing, but when you look back over a week (or a year!), you realise how far you’ve truly come. I don’t want to rush onto the next goal without celebrating each step of the way. Otherwise, what’s the point?

If you haven’t taken a moment to look back recently, take a moment to write a list of your successes and thank yourself making the sacrifices it took to get here. You might be surprised at how far you’ve actually come such a short time!

Surprise!

As you guys know, I launched Impossible Incubator yesterday (and it’s already on FIRE, we’ve got 11 people signed up and already creating plans for their impossible goals!). My best friend Georgia is staying with me, and at 10am, she drove me to a secret location in Brighton and asked me to wait in the car. I had no idea what was going on (since she had never even been to Brighton before but seemed to know where to go, I was like, what is going on?!), I just got on Instagram Stories and documented the whole thing!

It turns out, as a celebration for my launch, she had ordered gourmet vegan cupcakes adorned with edible Impossible Incubator logos! I hit publish on the website and we celebrated (in a decorated room too!).

I’ve learned SO much in the last 5 months creating Impossible Incubator:

1. Everything always takes at least twice as much time to do as you think it will to create

2. Just because you don’t have a giant email list or a huge following or a Facebook group of 10,000 (or any other excuse you’re making), doesn’t mean you can’t do your dream NOW. There’s no such thing as too young to start.

3. There are people out there who will hate your ideas. And that’s a good thing. A GOOD THING. It means there are also people out there who will LOVE your ideas (I sat at a table at a business meet up recently where the woman sitting next to me was trying to convince me to change the name of Impossible Incubator to something less “negative sounding”, while the woman across from me was trying to get my details so she could sign up as soon as doors opened).

4. You will doubt yourself when you’re working towards your dreams. The number of times I thought, “what am i doing?!" is too many to count. Ignore that. Go with your instincts. Your intuition is strong.

5. Breaking the rules is the best part (I totally did not have a traditional launch where I send 5000 emails, and I don’t have a years worth of content all planned out in advance). This is YOUR goal. Do it YOUR way.

6. Don’t take advice from people who aren’t where you want to be. I had a lot of people give me their staunch opinions on what they thought Impossible Incubator should be like, even though they’d never created anything even remotely similar before. I respectfully and carefully considered their advice, and then did whatever I wanted to do.

If you’ve been hiding your dream from the world because it’s not “realistic”, it’s time for you to own it. To actually DO something about it. It’s up to YOU to make your wildest dreams happen. NOW is the time. Don’t wake up in a year and realise you’re still in the same place, with the same job, same life, same finances, no further towards your dreams.

I can’t stress it enough, you’ve got to do something RIGHT NOW to move towards your goals.

THIS IS YOUR SIGN

You don’t need anyone’s help to achieve your goals. You truly have the power within you. You don’t need to own anything I’m offering. But if you want to make them happen 10x faster and 10x more easily, then Impossible Incubator is a no brainer. It’s time for you to achieve your biggest goals! Become a member here!

How I stopped caring what people think

I used to be so concerned with what people would think about my goals and dreams. So I felt like I couldn’t share anything, especially on Instagram or Facebook.

What if people judge me?
What if I get another creepy message?
What if people say something bad about me?

Guess what? They do all those things - REGARDLESS of what you do, whether you show up or not.
People on the street will judge you.

One day it just HIT ME. Am I willing to sacrifice my dreams because I’m afraid of what other people I don’t even know might think? HELL NO.

Not caring what other people think is a muscle. I have to practice it. The more and more I show up, the less I care what people say. But I’m not perfect yet! I still care what people think to a degree, but each day, everytime I show up, every hater or creepy comment I get, I get better and better at dealing with it.

There’s no magical cure - you’re not going to wake up one day and suddenly not care what anyone thinks. You have to realise it’s YOU holding you back.

People DO judge me.

I get messages and comments DAILY of people expressing that “I shouldn’t be running that much” or “Does everything you say have to be all ‘inspirational?’ Why can’t it just be a normal post?”

In essence, the only way to stop caring about what people think is to get out there and go after what you want. When people judge (and they will) you will begin to grow a thicker skin.

Don't lean into stress

I’ve been reflecting a lot on choosing my emotions or at least choosing my reaction to my emotions.
The last few days have felt a bit stressful, with a bunch of technical difficulties with Impossible Incubator (laptop and hard drive and icloud AND all my other storage devices ran out of space all at once, while I was editing 60gb of footage), lots of distractions (friends, friends, and more friends coming to stay) and general life busy-ness (prior commitments).

I’ve felt stress rising throughout my body on several occasions over the past few days, but with a lot of reflection and self control I’ve realised this:

Just because you feel stress (or anger, or sadness or any other undesirable emotion) doesn’t mean you have to LEAN INTO it. You can observe the emotion, and choose “Do I want to go there? Do I want to turn this emotion into a full on meltdown?”

As an ENFP (a Campaigner in the Myers-Briggs Personality categories), my intuition and emotion is a huge part of how I perceive the world. But I also know I can control how I perceive the world. Whatever I believe is what I will perceive. So I choose to perceive the situation differently. Acknowledge the stress, but also not choose to go down the rabbit hole. Just see it for what it is, and choose to believe something else about the situation (i.e. actually, it’s not all that bad).

I choose how I perceive my reality.