Burn the boats, not the weapons

If you want to take the island, you have to burn the boats.

Today I have lost my voice (been doing far too much talking!). So lucky this isn’t a daily vlog or I would have nothing to say! I was just on a coaching call with one of my clients, and we were talking about something Tony Robbins shares all the time: If you want to take the island, you have to burn the boats.

(This quote comes from the story of when Julius Caesar set out to conquer England - he knew that in order to win the battle and take the island, he would have to convince his soldiers that there was no other option. So he ordered them to burn their boats once they arrived, so if they ever wanted to go home to Rome, they would have to conquer England. And despite being a much smaller army, they won.)

In other words, if you want to go after your dreams (e.g. entrepreneurship), let go of the things that are keeping you comfortable (e.g. a job).

HOWEVER:

Here’s an important distinction that I think hasn’t been made. Please don’t confuse burning the boats with burning your weapons. Don’t go into battle in a t-shirt and shorts, like I did.

When I first started my business, I thought I was burning the boats, but what I was really doing was burning my weapons.

Yes, I quit my job, just like I was told I needed to do. I wasn’t going to build a successful business if I was comfortable in my job, and that is true.

But then I went and burned my weapons (aka, my investment capital).

I invested it (and I’m glad I did), but the problem was, I invested every last penny of it. And then I was left with zero dollars to push my business forward. Zero dollars to attack with. So I had no money and no job, and instead of feeling powerful like Caesars soldiers, I felt overcome by anxiety and crippled with the ever surmounting pressure.

Yes, burn your comforts. But don’t burn your tools.

If you want to quit your job to start a business – do it. But ONLY if you have sufficient weapons. And the moment you run out of ammo, you better go get you some more any possible way that you can. Take that advice from a girl who’s been there!

Impossible indicator

I have this one coaching client I know without a doubt is going to succeed with her impossible goal. For a while, I used to just have an intuitive sense about who would succeed and who wouldn’t. But after coaching a lot of people and self-coaching too, I’ve learned that my intuition can detect the level of determination someone has, and that’s really it. It depends how determined someone is. It depends how strong their WHY is. This client of mine I know she is going to succeed because her why is so strong. In our first session she told me she basically sees not succeeding in her goal as worse than dying. At first my reaction was “uh oh, what if she doesn’t achieve it? She will be distraught.” And then I almost laughed at myself out loud, because that’s the whole damn point — it’s that exact answer that proves certain she will achieve it. She wants her impossible more than she wants anything else in the world, including comfort right now. She wants it more than 10/10. She wants it more than she wants to BREATHE. I’m in awe of her gumption and passionate determination.

This made me think about an assessment to see if you’ll achieve your goals. 

Here’s my work-in-progress assessment.

Let’s call it the Impossible Indicator.

There are two questions:

1. Why do you want your impossible goal?

2. What are you willing to do to get it?

If your answer to number 1 doesn’t make your whole body shake with excitement and your heart beat with exhilaration (and terror), then you need to come up with a stronger why.

If your answer to number 2 isn’t “anything and everything — whatever it takes”, please revise your answer to number 1.

One thing

Today we’re headed from Brighton to Cardiff to go and visit Daniel’s new baby cousin! So cute, I can’t wait to meet him. 

It’s a 5 hour journey (writing as we go - I’m not driving!) so I’ve had a lot of time to think - and so I’ve been devising a plan for the last 3 months of this decade (I didn’t even believe it when someone told me that yesterday - 3 months left of this decade?!).

One of the major learning lessons I’ve had in 2019 is to prioritise my ONE THING.

The reason I managed to create my membership site, Impossible Incubator, is because I stopped trying to focus on ANYTHING else. I made it my one thing. And even more specifically, I made each task ahead my one thing. I remember being overwhelmed by the prospect of creating videos with a videographer, so I broke it down into small steps and physically covered up everything else on my to do list with a sticky note until I had found a videographer. That was my only task. I wasn’t even allowed to do anything else to do with that project until I’d done that step. Then once I’d found a videographer, I focused on writing the content for the videos. Nothing else but that. And so on until I ended up creating an entire membership site.

That technique worked so well for me, that I’ve decided to put weekly YouTube videos off until 2020 so I can focus on really nailing this blog. However, as one of my impossible goals is to reach 100k subscribers on YouTube (I think I’m at 270 as of today, haha), I’m definitely not giving up, just prioritising my blogging goals as my ONE THING first.

I’m really keen to focus on my blog and creating better and better content for you guys. (And then my next ONE THING is to work on some free content to share how I set and commit to my impossible goals, which should be coming your way by the end of the month 🤞).

Push ups: Week 8

Day: 55
Push up ability: 20

20% of the way to my goal – super pumped to hit 20 push ups in a row!

Where I'm at: I certainly haven’t been training hard enough at all. I’ve barely been training since my last update in week 6. I’m actually stoked I didn’t drop below 18, I thought I was going to be moving backwards, that’s how much I didn’t train! I mean, even in I think I could be at 30 by now if I had worked at it properly. Which is why I’m kicking it up a notch this month! I’ve decided to train every single day (apart from rest days).

I’ve been trying to work on my form too, getting as low as I can (chin touching the ground!) and keeping my body as flatlined as I can.

I can feel how much more is in me. 20 is tough at the moment, but I can just tell there’s 100 in me. And it’s not even that far away, I feel. I thought this might take years to accomplish, but I think it’s going to happen faster than that. I’m going to train hard out over the next month (I’m flying to NZ – 31,000 ft push ups, anyone?!) but I’m going to try to get push ups in most days.

I’ll keep you updated!

Colour

My photos are usually black and white so it’s fun experimenting with some colour! One of my goals is to blog everyday for 2 years, and when I began, my intention wasn’t to write a post last minute before I fell asleep and put on a random image from my phone (which is what has been happening) – my intention was to document my goals and my day. So today is the start of me really trying to do that! I spent some time at a cafe today doing some work on the computer, but it was really dark inside so I popped outside to take photos by this colourful wall. I’m super keen to work on my photography too. I’ll keep you updated, and hopefully my photography (or my photographic directing, since I didn’t take these photos!) gets better and better. This month I’m really going to work on that. I’ve got a coaching call now and then time to meditate and relax this evening (I can feel some Desperate Housewives coming on…) – talk soon!

September Goals: Review

I was not expecting to say this, but I failed my September goals. However – they still progressed me forward. There’s a difference between failing because you didn’t take action, and failing because the action you took didn’t work. This month, the action I took didn’t work.

I want to evaluate what went wrong that meant I only completed a sixth of my September goals, and hopefully you can use this to your advantage too.

Here were my goals:

• I will easily do 15 push ups in a row by September 30, 2019.
  Yes, I completed this! I can now do 18 in a row.
  

• I will easily photograph 5 high resolution shoots for my blog posts that I am proud to share by September 30, 2019.
  I did two kind of half-hearted ones. I took action, but I realised the kind of action I took wasn’t right. What I will do next time: Plan dates into my calendar of days I will take photos, and with whom.
  

• I will easily put out one video a week on YouTube (4 videos) by September 30, 2019.
  I actually FILMED three videos. But I only put out one, because I didn’t make it a priority.
  What I will do next time: Schedule the exact DAYS the videos are going to go up on YouTube, and schedule non-negotiable time to work on them into my calendar.
  

• I will easily create a consistent weekly newsletter by September 30, 2019.
  This is a wish right now. I didn’t commit at all. I didn’t even take a STEP towards this. Ouch. It hurts saying that. Again, scheduling issue. What I will do next time: Schedule time into my calendar to work on this.
  

• I will easily read 2 personal development books by September 30, 2019.
  I actually did take action on this one. I’ve been reading the Napoleon Hill classic, Think and Grow Rich. I love reading it, and I did make time. I just way underestimated how much time I would need to dedicate to this. What I will do next time: Make a calculated plan of reading based on my actual reading speed.
  

• I will easily complete my quiz for my website by September 30, 2019.
  I actually decided against doing this one. It doesn’t align with what my plans are for my website. What I will do next time: Set goals that actually make sense to set.

I learned a lot about SMALL goal setting this month, including:

1. Scheduling is not a joke. Do it for even the small things you don’t think you need to do it for.

2. Set actions you actually want to take.

3. Take into account the other things happening in your life. September turned out to be one of my busiest months of the year, and I ended up working 80 hour weeks. I needed to look at my calendar when I set my goals. I will do that for my October goals, for sure (Coming at you tomorrow!)

Diy

New video coming at you soon! I wanted to share a couple of snaps I got, because I want to show what a mess my filming set up is. It used to really hold me back from filming. I actually ordered a tripod for my camera, but it didn’t arrive. So I ended up cellotaping my iPhone to a box of tea (which inside had a can of chickpeas to weigh it down) and using the front camera to record. And getting the correct height with some books and a water dispenser. Can you tell from the video snap? Not one bit. In the past, I’ve used a Weetbix box, DVDs, books, anything that will prop my phone or camera to the right height. And this isn’t my room. I borrowed it. I didn’t even brush my hair (which I admit was a mistake, looking at the footage). I used to worry so much about lighting, hair, makeup, the right equipment, etc. but it doesn’t even matter. My videos are currently getting a couple of hundred views, I don’t need a whole studio set up. But I let it stop me from filming for far too long.

Moral of the story: DON’T LET THE SMALL THINGS STOP YOU FROM ACHIEVING YOUR BIG DREAMS.

6 months of daily meditation: review

I don’t have a photo of me meditating because I’m almost always alone with my eyes closed (not ideal conditions for a photo!)

I’ve just hit 183 - the halfway mark to my goal of 365 days of meditating! Here’s a review:

1. It’s only in the last few weeks that I’ve really been pushing myself to meditate in the morning no matter what. It’s such a relief not to get into bed at 12:30 and think “ah! I forgot to meditate!” I’m trying to make morning meditation a non-negotiable.

2. Some days, I do a 30 minute guided meditation, and other days, it’s 5 minutes of deep, focused breathing. I’m not regimented about it - I do what I feel like, which keeps it enjoyable and fun, and not a chore. I think this is a major key to habit formation. Keeping it FUN (e.g. I could be running harder and faster, I could be doing more push up training, but I’m determined to keep them enjoyable and fun, so I just focus on keeping the habits).

3. I’m most surprised about this: I don’t think I’ve progressed in terms of being able to focus on my breath for longer. I’m equally as distracted as I was when I began. I’m not sure if this is because I’m not working on it very much (e.g. 5 or 10 mins a day compared to hours), or if I’m just not “doing it right” - an idea that I very much resist, as that’s not my aim of meditating (see point 4).

4. My aim is to feel good and enjoy it in the moment. This isn’t really about “getting to 365 days” as a goal - it’s about forming the habit of taking care of myself. I just love a challenge - it gets me more excited than “meditate every day” would. (I’ve tried that too, for the past 10 years, and failed miserably, so tip, if you’re struggling to form a habit, make it a challenge!).

5. I love guided meditations the most. Today I did an incredibly blissful 5 minute one.

6. It still doesn’t feel like a habit, because I’m doing it at different times of the day. However, I know from past experience that if I stopped, after a few days I would really notice and crave it.

7. When I’m anxious or stressed, I often think to meditate as a solution. It works!

8. I’m looking forward to the next 182 days - I’m so grateful I started this challenge.

My top 3 guided meditation recommendations:

• Calm Guided Meditation to Gain Abundance, Love & Happiness | Bob Proctor

• 5 Minute Stress Relief Guided Meditation | The Honest Guys

• Prosperity Guided Meditation | YouAreCreators

Do you have a meditation practice? Let me know about yours in the comments by clicking the blog title!

Push ups: Week 6

Day: 39
Push up ability: 18

I went for a gorgeous walk today, I usually go running around here, but this week I’ve been a bit unwell so I didn’t want to push it too much. However, when I got back I managed 18 press ups! Woohoo!

I wasn’t sure if I’d still be able to even do 13 like I did a few weeks ago, because I haven’t been training much at all, just a few here and there when I remember. I’d really like to work on my form more too, perhaps a few YouTube videos and maybe asking a personal trainer for pointers.

I’ve been crazy busy the last few days, and have a really busy two weeks coming up, so I’m actually a bit concerned how I’ll get my daily blogs done because my schedule just so chock-a-block.

Should be some vlogs coming your way too if I can create the time to edit them 💪🏻

So let’s see how we go this week!

Black and white obsession

On of my goals for this month is to take better photographs (and also to create 4 YouTube videos!).

And if you follow me on Instagram you’ll know that I’m a fan of black and white photography - I just think everything looks so much more elegant and impactful in black and white! Plus, it keeps my Instagram feed consistent.

However, it’s clear my photography and videography skills need a bit more work before they will look at the level I desire! So today I’ve been putting together some images of how I’d love my YouTube videos look (It’s been a mental block for me that I feel like I don’t have somewhere good to film/that I always have to “set up” to film. I just want to be able to hit record and go - it’s part of the reason I haven’t been creating YouTube videos consistently even though I have a MASSIVE desire to!).

How delicious are those video shots of Cindy Crawford and Jameela Jamil? Clearly, I have a long way to go, with lighting and backdrops and texture, but I’m excited to be on the path.

If you’ve got any black & white photography/videography tips, send them my way!