Would You Rather?

Would you rather set a tiny goal and surpass it? Or set a huge goal and not quite hit it?

There’s no right answer.

Here are my thoughts:

It’s better to shoot for the moon and land among the stars is better than shoot for a bush and land in a tree.

What do you think?

Second Guessing

My brain likes to do this thing where it second guesses itself. It makes a move and then later thinks “Why did I say that?” or “Ugh, that was so embarrassing”.

I had it happen today. And now my brain is just repeating the situation over and over in my head, trying to replay everything I did wrong again and again.

But we have to give ourselves grace.

And tell ourselves:

I tried my best.

I did the best I could with the situation at the time.

I am learning. I will get better.

It doesn’t really matter in the long run.

In 5 years it won’t matter.

Let go.

The Last Dance

Those who’ve spoken to me over the past 5 months or so know that there’s one person who has completely, wildly, changed my thinking without ever having spoken a word to each other: Michael Jordan.

Before I saw his documentary The Last Dance, I knew who he was of course (is there any more famous sports star?) but I’d never seen footage of him play or heard an interview with him, so I didn’t understand why he was such a big deal.

I get it now.

I’m not specifically interested in basketball as a sport, but since watching his documentary I feel like a whole new world of possibility has opened up.

It’s about ability to DECIDE to make something happen – and then just go and do it.

Michael can do that, unlike anyone else.

Now, without a doubt, the most common thought I have when I’m facing a challenge is, What Would MJ Do?

When Everything Goes Wrong

Everything going wrong isn't a sign for you to stop.

It's a test to see how bad you want it.

It's a chance to show yourself what you're made of.

It's an opportunity to show up as someone who doesn't take no for an answer.

What if you get 500 rejection letters for your book? Send another one.

It’s not the end. It’s just a test.

I know because I've been tested a lot.

One time, I missed an international flight to Arizona and had to buy a new one.

Which immediately got canceled by the airline.

They told me there was no way I could get a direct flight that day.

So I decided to fly to the wrong airport on purpose, and take a taxi for an hour across states to another airport.

Then the taxi driver got pulled over by the police for speeding.

The driver charged me extra because of it and I objected. So he locked me in the car. I got out. I’m okay.

I got to Arizona on time.

You know what? It was SO worth it.

Just for the experience of pushing my limits. Just for finding out what I’m made of. What I’m willing to do.

And because of many experiences like this, no matter what gets thrown my way, I believe in my ability to figure it out. Always.

So if things are going wrong right now, know that it’s just a test to see how bad you want it.

Accepting Total Imperfection

You know when you do something for the first time and you just realise how far you have to go?

That happened for me today on a livestream – even though it wasn't my first time.

I rewatched it thinking, "Wow. That was rubbish." 

I thought I had livestreams sorted. But it was clunky, awkward and totally unnatural.

Clearly I have a lot of work to do.

I even considered taking it down.

But I didn't. Because I think there's a kind of beauty in being a beginner and allowing yourself to suck.

Accepting not just imperfection, but total imperfection.

I am okay being new. I will get better.

Keep going, self.

Everyone sucks in the beginning.

Things I'm Learning From My Goals This Month

Things I'm learning from my goals this month:

1. I'm never going to "feel like it." And that's okay, that's not a problem. Just do the thing anyway. I'll feel better after.

2. Stretching myself beyond what I originally thought was possible has brought up all the fears I thought I'd handled already. Turns out, I'd only slayed my fears and monsters at level 1. Now that I'm upleveling, there's another level of fears and monsters to handle.

3. Fear shows up in sneaky ways. This month, fear came in the disguise of new opportunities that I could take instead of sticking to my goal. They seemed like an easy way out, a justifiable way out.

4. I have to live in the energy of it already being done. Whenever I step out of that energy, I step into TRYING to make it work, instead of COMMITTING to make it work. I have to remind myself every day that I'm willing to do whatever it takes – and then do it.

5. How to make sacrifices in a helpful way. Am I willing to sacrifice sleep? Or time with family? We each have our limits. For me, one day of sacrificing those things isn't a problem. But what is my limit? I'm still learning.

6. There is no actual real-world stress. The stress is only in my mind. There is only the task that is right in front of me. I am the one who is coating the experience in stress. Let the stress go.

What are you learning from your goals this month? Let me know in the comments!

Your Mind Will Accept Anything You Tell It Enough Times

Brainwashing. It’s not just for cults.

(Now there’s a tagline).

But really. We’re all brainwashed. We brainwash ourselves.

Because our minds will accept anything that is repeated enough times.

On a neurological level, a thought is a particular pattern of neurons firing.

That thought becomes a deep-rooted belief when that pattern of neurons has been fired so many times it becomes the automatic pathway that our brain wants to go when a certain situation arises.

The only difference between something we believe and something we don’t is the number of times our brain has fired that neuron pattern.

Each thought has its own neuron pattern.

The more times you think that thought, the stronger that neuron pattern becomes, and the more easily it gets triggered.

And how do you get a neuron pattern to be stronger? Practice.

Like basketball, swimming or piano.

Choosing new beliefs is about practicing them until their neuron firing pattern becomes stronger than the competing neuron firing pattern.

In other words – if you want to believe something new, keep practicing the thought until you believe it more than the old belief.

Say it again.

Journal it on paper.

Find proof for it.

Tell it to your brain again and again.

Your mind will eventually accept anything you tell it enough times.

How Do You Want the Journey to Feel?

The goal is important. It's the whole point. 

But 99% of our time is spent pursuing the goal.

Ironically, at the end of the day, it's the pursuit of the goal that fires me up.

Not actually reaching the goal.

I love the heart-thumping feeling when an idea comes knocking at 3am.

I love the determination of waking up every morning with a purpose.

I love the feeling of going to sleep at night having made progress.

I love the pursuit.

So instead of focusing on how I want to feel once I get there – I'm working on how I want to feel WHILE getting there.

Crazy Week Thoughts vs Fun Week Thoughts

This week I have about 23648568 coaching calls.

I don't usually have that many scheduled, but this week is an exception.

I've been thinking about how to coach my brain through it.

My automatic reaction is:

➡️ This is going to be a CRAZY week

➡️ I'm going to be flat out

➡️ I won't have time for myself

➡️ I will just have to get through it

➡️ I hope I don't get too stressed out

But I've decided they aren't helpful thoughts.

Instead, I'm choosing to think helpful thoughts.

➡️ This is going to be fun

➡️ I love connecting with people

➡️ There is enough time for everything I want to do

➡️ This is an opportunity for me to show up as my ideal self

➡️ I am choosing to be relaxed and do this with ease

➡️ I created this, I am in control

➡️ Time expands for me

These thoughts feel way better.

Going into my week excited and ready.

Bring it on.

Take Action From Your Ideal Self

Today I pushed hard.

Harder than I’ve pushed myself all year.

I ran uphill. And I didn’t stop once.

Current me doesn’t do that.

Current me gives up and walks the hard bits.

Current me procrastinates for hours and doesn't run for a second longer than she has to.

But today I didn’t take action from current me.

I took action from the person I want to be.

The whole time I was thinking, "Michael Jordan would do it."

I ran the whole way, uphill, and took the long route.

If you take action from your current self, you’ll get the same results that your current self is getting.

But when you take action from your ideal self, you'll get results that your ideal self creates.

Because you can’t get from A to B with the mindset you have at A.

You have to step into the mindset you will have at B before you arrive at B.

In other words: the only way to get from A to B is to BE the person at B.