Your unhelpful thoughts are eating your dreams alive

Your unhelpful thoughts are eating your dreams alive.

Because when we think an unhelpful thought, we take unhelpful action.

It's 11:59pm right now. Fact.

I do not feel like writing. Thought.

Only the first one is true.

The second one is just a sentence I made up in my head.

"I don't feel like writing" isn't going to get me to write. So why am I choosing to think it?

I can just make up a new sentence in my head instead.

It's 11:59pm right now. Fact.

"I'm the kind of person who can push through discomfort for her goals." Thought.

A much more helpful thought.

Because now I am writing.

If I allowed myself to accept the first thought, I would have gone to bed already without following through on my commitment to write.

You get to choose your thoughts.
They're just sentences you make up in your head.

So what thoughts do you need to think to get what you want today?

The Power of Helpful Thinking

It’s really started to dawn on me: positive thinking isn’t the answer – helpful thinking is.

Sometimes a “negative” thought is more helpful than a positive thought.

E.g. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) can be more motivating than the desire to join in.

For the last few days, I’ve been in conscious awareness of my thoughts, regularly asking myself “Is this thought helpful?”

Helpful thoughts might not guarantee I hit my goals. But they do give me a better chance.

Some helpful thoughts I’ve been having:

• Michael Jordan would do it.

• I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

• I’m ready.

• I can do this.

• I am enough.

• I don’t want to look back and think I didn’t make the most of this opportunity.

• What would my ideal self do?

Whatever you’re struggling with right now, no matter how good or bad it may seem – you can change your thought to be more helpful.

What thoughts are helpful for you to achieve your goals?

Anything Can Happen

I share a ton of goals with the world. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m not afraid to share what I’m working on.

I also have some private goals. Goals I share with only my closest friends, and sometimes only with myself.

Lately, I didn’t hit one of my private goals. I worked so. damn. hard on it.

I thought of all the possible ways to make it work.

I wrote out an epiphany list.

I created a new plan.

I executed a new plan.

I believed in it right up until the last moment.

But the time was up and I didn’t reach the goal.

I have accepted that it didn’t happen in my desired time frame. But I am still not giving up. Just because the time limit passed, doesn’t mean the goal isn’t still attainable.

Anything can happen.

Quarter-Life Bliss

In psychology, a quarter-life crisis is defined as anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life.

Yesterday I turned 24, and I couldn’t have felt further from that.

Instead of feeling lost, confused, and directionless, I went to sleep feeling like the happiest, luckiest person in the whole world.

I have a family who loves me. I have food. I have safety. I have health. I have the opportunity to pursue my ambitions. I get to help people with my work. I have meaning. I have a purpose. Even my problems feel like blessings right now.

I’m incredibly grateful to be feeling this way because there have been times in my life when I haven’t felt like this at all.

Thank you for reading this, even if I don’t know you. You contribute to my happiness each day.

My Best Thoughts

It doesn't matter to me whether my thoughts are negative or positive – I just want to know if a thought is helpful or unhelpful.

And the helpful thoughts, I want on hand at all times.

So for the past 3 months, I’ve kept a note on my phone of “My Best Thoughts”.

Thoughts that I want to think as often as possible. Thoughts I want to turn into unwavering beliefs.

Some of these I’ve heard from other people. Some of them I created.

As long as they serve me – and others – I think them. As often as I can.

I am certain I can do this.

I already have everything I need to be successful and happy right now.

I can handle anything.

Everything always works out.

If not this, there’s something better coming.

It gets to be easy.

My security is in my brain, not my bank account.

I’m in it for the long haul.

I am in the middle of creating success.

Failure is just building my success story.

What are your best thoughts?

The Club

I don't just want to achieve all my goals.

I want to be THE KIND OF PERSON who achieves all their goals.

In my mind, there's a club.

And Michael Jordan is in it. And Steve Jobs. And Anna Wintour. And Lady Gaga.

It's the "I'm so damn good at what I do it's a whole other level you can't even explain" club.

And I want into that club.

Not for fame or accolades – I mean, no one else will even know I'm in it.

I want in because I want to know at the end of my life that I pushed myself to my full potential, and then some.

Who's coming?

Books I Want To Read

I thought about doing a book review today, but I realised I’m not feeling especially inspired by one particular book at the moment – what I really want is to read more amazing books.

So here’s a list of all the books I’m SO keen to read (and WILL read) in the future:

1. Grant Cardone – The 10X Rule

2. Derek Sivers – Your Music & People

3. Stacey Boehman – The Consultation Code

4. Russell Brunson – Traffic Secrets

5. Gretchen Rubin – Happier at Home

Got a recommendation for me? Click the form below!

Recommend me a book

Book Recommendation

The Next Adventure

I’m currently in the process of moving from New Plymouth (where I was staying during quarantine) to Nelson (where my family are). We will likely only be staying for a few months, but it’s still a totally bizarre feeling to be moving again.

Only 4 months ago I packed up my life in England and moved back to New Zealand.

And in that time, so much has changed:

• My business officially went full-time (I’ve been location independent for a long time, but I’m no longer doing anything for anyone else, like any freelancing).

• I signed 6 new clients.

• I experienced New Zealand “winter” again (there are parts of NZ that are certainly cold and snowy, but the parts I’ve been in have been so mild compared with England, and I LOVE it).

• I started my Facebook Group, Impossible Girls, and grew it to 996 members (as of today).

• I lived in hardcore quarantine for two weeks, having my meals slipped under the door, and then after that, isolation with our house bubble for many more weeks.

• I got a puppy called Alfie (okay, fine, she’s not technically my puppy but I got to live with her for 3 weeks so that counts, right?).

I love to see my life as a series of adventures. Living in Nelson will be the next one. And then, who knows? Maybe Wellington? Maybe van life? Maybe something totally unexpected. But it is an adventure, and I’m excited to see what it brings (and what I decide to bring to it!).

Time for a Q&A

I’ve had a lot of questions in my Facebook Group and emailed from readers, so please let me know your questions and I will do either a video or a post about them!

I’m happy to answer (almost) anything, so ask away!

You can fill out your question here:

ASK ME ANYTHING

Q&A

Choosing to Trust Your Own Judgment

It’s so easy to feel like we should do what other people think we should do.

But one of my clients made a big decision today, and I just had to share her thoughts about it:

She said:

• What if my judgment IS good enough?

• What if I don't need to be deferring to other people's judgments to make decisions?

• What if I am the most qualified person to make a decision about my life?

SO. GOOD, right?!

I will definitely be borrowing these thoughts next time the jury shows up in my mind.

I choose to trust my own judgment!