Humble Vision

"Gatsby, he had a grand vision for his life since he was a boy. No amount of fire could challenge the fairy tale he had stored up in his heart. He had an extraordinary sense of hope but I had the uneasy feeling that he was guarding secrets. It had gone beyond her. It had gone beyond everything."
– The Great Gatsby

A Grand Vision is a beautiful but intense idea to thrust upon our psyches. A grand vision can bring a lot of hope, but it can also bring a lot of pressure.

A Grand Vision is your full of impossible achievements, their legacy, and their overall mission. It’s not just for wealthy romantics like Gatsby – Martin Luther King Jr had a Grand Vision, a dream. It helps shape our lives and direct our efforts.

However, day to day, a Grand Vision can leave us feeling overwhelmed and unfulfilled, and the gap from where we are now to where we want to be is so huge it can be crippling.

That’s why I like my coaching clients to set both a Grand Vision and a Humble Vision.

Unlike a Grand Vision, a Humble Vision is full of things you can do right now to be living your dream. It doesn’t require you to be richer, thinner, better looking, more accomplished or any of the things you think you need before you can achieve your Grand Vision. You don’t need to become anything other than who you already are. Your humble vision is available to you right now.

How do you set a Humble Vision?

For example, if your Grand Vision is to win a Gold Medal in freestyle the 2024 Olympics and raise a million dollars for sports education in underprivileged schools, then your Humble Vision might be to train every single day at the local pool, and volunteer at your local school teaching kids to swim. This relieves the pressure of being a Gold Medalist today, but still moves you towards the ultimate goals of your Grand Vision.

Another example?

Say, in your Grand Vision, you’ve got a full-time live-in assistant to help you run your tech business. To live your Humble Vision, you could start by hiring a Virtual Assistant from Craigslist for an hour a week.

I love setting a Humble Vision. It feels so authentic and really helps dissect what is important about your Grand Vision. The point is, your Humble Vision is a way to live your Grand Vision today – but on a smaller scale. Doesn’t that just feel so good?

Anti-goals

I think I might be one of the only people I know to set anti-goals (consciously). So I want to share my anti-goals today, in the hope that you might want to set an anti-goal too.

What is an anti-goal? An anti-goal is something you purposefully don’t want to achieve.

I created my first anti-goal in 2017, when I decided NOT to go to the gym for an entire year. I had been trying to get myself to go to the gym for years, and every year I would set it as my New Years Resolution, and I always failed miserably. Having the goal every year wasn’t actually working, and on top of that, it was just making me feel guilty because I wasn’t going. So in 2017, I just decided that I would make a new rule: No gym allowed.

I felt LIBERATED.

Did it mean that I exercised more? No I didn’t. But it removed the guilt I was feeling. By making it a rule, an anti-goal, I wasn’t actually getting any fitter, but I had released myself from feeling bad about not achieving my goal.

But hang on, what makes an anti-goal different from a regular goal?

A regular goal achieves something. An anti-goal achieves nothing, on purpose.

A goal to not smoke is still a regular goal because it achieves something. A goal to not drink achieves something too. An anti-goal doesn’t achieve anything, it keeps you exactly where you are, except it changes the way you feel about the situation.

If you always eat doughnuts, and you feel guilty about it but you don’t actually think you’ll stop, you could set yourself an anti-goal of continuing to eat donuts. That way, you’re not changing, but you’re now fulfilling a goal so you can stop feeling the guilt.

This can be a dangerous tactic, as it requires you to really evaluate why you are setting the anti-goal. It’s not a good idea to set an anti-goal if it’s just an excuse to behave badly. An anti-goal is purely there to give you permission to not feel bad, and to focus on other things.

Other anti-goals I have:

To not go skydiving.
To not run a marathon.
To not write a book.

Some people probably will not understand the concept of anti-goals. I can almost hear my logically-minded cousin saying, “If you don’t want to do something, why don’t you just not do it? What’s so hard about that?”

But see, that doesn’t work for those of us who feel obliged to others, or to our feelings. The purpose of an anti-goal is to give us permission to do what we actually want, and will probably do anyway. It just removes the pressure. Now that I know I’m not allowed to write a book, I don’t have to worry about doing that. It’s totally gone from my list, and I feel so much freer than when I had a general sense of unease: “Should I be writing a book?”

More examples of potential anti-goals:

To not go to that party.
To not buy Christmas presents.
To not wear makeup.
To not make your bed.

What are your anti-goals?

I've been thinking about it all wrong

Goal setting is amazing, but I think we should stop calling it ‘Goal Setting’. Goal setting is only part of the process, but it’s not just about setting a goal. It’s about setting an ACTION. Setting a goal is the first part – setting a possible commitment is the most crucial part. We should really be calling it “commitment setting.”

I shouldn’t only be saying “I have a goal to reach 100 push ups” – I should be saying something like, “I have a commitment to train push ups everyday.” Because in truth, I don’t care about 100 push ups. It’s not about the number, it’s about the action.

Here’s the thing: It’s not about setting end-goals. It’s not about attaining something. (Reach 100 push ups, complete a marathon, achieve xyz…) It’s about the dedication of doing the thing. A daily practice. A weekly practice. A practice. An act. A present moment experience. It’s about cultivating the practice of an action, not achieving an end goal.

(Is it okay to say my mind is being blown as I’m writing this?!).

That way, we are growing, and yet we are content – as every single moment we practice is a moment of success. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to get to. The goal is just a container for the practice to occur.

What does this look like in action? My 365 day meditation goal is a great example. Yes – it has an end-goal. But I’m not doing it to reach day 365 and check it off my list. I’m doing it to cultivate the practice of mediation. And so each and every day practice, I succeed. Once I reach the finish line, I don’t wish to stop. I want to continue this practice.

So, should we not set goals at all? I think we should still set goals. Goal setting can give helpful instructions and direction. However, I think action setting (or commitment setting or practice setting, whatever you’d like to call it) is a crucial part of it, if we are to develop and grow.

Goal Rush

Something I love so much about goal setting is the rush of adrenaline you get when you set something that feels impossible, but there’s part of you that believes you can do it – and that voice suddenly becomes louder than the voice that says you can’t do it. And then you come down off that high, and you think, ‘Am I crazy?’ and there’s a dark cloud of questioning if you can do it. The voice that says you can’t is there. But no matter how loud the voice that says you can’t is, the voice that says you can will always be there.

I’ve just experienced that adrenaline-fuelled rush of setting an impossible goal. It’s so delicate, so recently born into my mind, it’s too fragile to share with you right now. But when it grows into a small, but sturdily formed idea, I will share it.

All I can say now is that my heart is pounding with excitment and anticipation for what could be.

Do you ever feel that way about goal setting too? Or is it just me?

November Goals

Is this not the best meme ever?

I’m super happy with my success in October, as I completed all of my goals.

However, I did find myself run off my feet and running around trying to do far too many things at once. So my overarching theme for November is: The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

What is my main thing? My main thing (right now) is my coaching.

With that in mind, I am setting myself goals that will foster self-care and make me feel as energised as I can be, so I am better able to show up for my goals, my clients, my friends and family, and my work.

Here they are:

1. I will easily craft a dedicated space in my house for meditation by November 30, 2019.

2. I will easily reach 30 deep, consistent, improved-form push ups by November 30, 2019.

3. I will easily stop working and begin winding down for sleep by 10pm for the entire month, until November 30, 2019.

4. I will easily create 1 new YouTube video by November 30, 2019.

I’m feeling so good about these goals, they feel like exactly what I need in order to move forward and to foster a better work-life balance.

October Goals: Review

Flying back from NZ to England today!

I can’t believe we’re already done with the 10th month of 2019. Here were my goals for October:

• I will easily create a training video opt-in for my website by October 15, 2019.
  It’s up! Go and download my free masterclass to create a step by step plan for achieving your impossible goals. You can check it out on my homepage by clicking the button under the headline (just click on my name, Sarah Arnold-Hall to head to the homepage, or scroll to the top of the blog!).

• I will easily do 25 push ups in a row by October 30, 2019.
  I did this! However, in my last exhaustion test, I actually ended up only doing 22. I don’t know if that means I shouldn’t count this, but I feel like since I did actually reach the goal at one point, it should count. Now I’ve just got to keep it up!

• I will easily photograph 3 high resolution photoshoots for my blog by October 30, 2019. (Trying this again this month!)
  Done! I’m counting these posts: Push Ups: Week 8, Just Call Me Tiger, Dress for the Job You Want. I also did quite a few other blog posts where I was happier with the level of photography I shot too. Even though I had to consciously plan when I would do these photoshoots, they mostly fit as part of what I was already doing, and weren’t staged, which is great because it suggests higher quality photos on my blog are sustainable for the future.

• I will easily create and upload 2 YouTube videos by October 30, 2019.
  Also complete! It got to almost the end of the month and I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but I chose to push through and create a video! I found it WAY easier creating videos while I was in NZ, because it was sunny and I had lots of places to film with great lighting, which I don’t have in England (where I’m currently living). My two videos from this month are: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and my first 100 Push Ups Vlog
  

I’m super happy with completing all four of my October Goals, because last month in September I didn’t complete all my goals. I think the difference was I was more realistic about the action I could take. And before you say “Sarah! You always say being realistic is a bad idea!”, remember I believe that when you set your goals, you should set impossible goals, but when you create your commitments, they need to be realistic and actionable. Possible action makes impossible goals happen.

Gary Vee Mode

A photo from my test shoot for one of my posts coming at you during Gary Vee Mode this week!

If you don’t know who Gary Vaynerchuk is, he’s an entrepreneur and advocator of the arguably toxic “hustle” ideal, which suggests we should all be working 18 hour days. While the hustle hustle hustle, work work work mentality is not great for people who are already overworked and I can see the damage it can cause, I don’t think his message is aimed at that audience. I think his message “Patience & Hard Work” is aimed at so many of us (myself included – they tend to describe us as lazy millennials) who actually have a huge capacity for more work and patience if we are hungry enough to actually put in the effort.

I’m passionate about Gary Vee’s content, and I could watch it all day. His work ethic is insane, but he’s achieved results from it – and he’s loved every step of the way. He LOVES putting in the effort.

If you’ve watched my Impossible Masterclass (which you can get free access to on my homepage), I talk about the difference between hard work and effort. It’s a concept I originally came up with thinking about relationships (I can’t stand when people say relationships are hard, or hard work. They shouldn’t be hard). Calling something hard work means you give all your power away to the thing in question. You make it so that the thing you’re trying to achieve has some mystical level of difficulty when in actual fact, it totally doesn’t. You have to take back the power, by recognising that it is in fact the level of effort you are willing to exert that will determine your success, and not how hard something is.

Think about it. It’s not hard to get in good physical shape, for example. Everyone knows how to do it. You eat better, you exercise more. It couldn’t be less difficult. You put different food into your mouth, you move your body more. So why do so many people (including myself) struggle to get in great physical shape? Because they’re not putting in the mental and physical effort it takes. (I’ve had people argue that what I mean is that it is simple but not easy, but that’s not what I’m saying. Im saying it IS easy, as long as we choose to view it that way.)

A couple of days ago I shared my fear that I’m not truly putting in the effort required to achieve my dreams. That’s a bitter pill to swallow. Unless you spit it out. So here I go, spitting it out, refusing to let it be true.

Today, after watching one of Gary’s videos, I realised I’ve been doing it all wrong: trying to cut corners to make everything easier, when in fact, I need to make myself better.

I’m committing to what I’m calling “Gary Vee Mode”, and for 4 days I’m going to live how he would live if he were in my shoes.

Here’s my commitment. Every day, for the next 4 days, I will:

1. Post on my blog (as usual)

2. Post on Instagram

3. Post on Facebook

4. Post on Instagram stories (10x minimum)

5. Film and post a YouTube video

6. Post on Tik Tok (a platform I’m new to, as of today – find me at @saraharnoldhall)

And I’m going to give it my absolute ALL.

Today, I have completed everything on this list, so that’s day 1 DONE.

I’ve chosen 4 days instead of 7 as the last 3 days of my week this week include extensive global travel from New Zealand to England.

Initiating Gary Vee Mode.

Hustle

This is me right now, snuggled on the couch contemplating goals (as usual).

Tonight we went to the cinema to watch the new Jennifer Lopez film, Hustlers. It’s based on a true story deemed a “modern Robin Hood”, the tale of a group of strippers who stole from rich men on Wall Street after the 2008 financial crisis. And man, did it make me think about goals (I’m always thinking about goals, so that’s really not surprising). These women, as criminal as they were (it should go without saying, I don’t condone stealing), were absolutely dead set on getting what they wanted. They had a goal in mind (making a lot of money) and they would do almost anything to get it.

Of course, drugging and stealing isn’t exactly the kind of thing I have in mind when I say “You have to be willing to do anything for your impossible goal”, but if there’s one thing we can learn from these women, it’s dedication. It really made me think about a recipe for success. You’ve got to want it enough (drive), and apply yourself to it with grit and a take-no-prisoners attitude.

It comes back to my Impossible Indicator I shared a few weeks ago. These are my (work in progress) criteria to indicate whether or not you can achieve your impossible goal.

1. Why do you want your impossible goal?

2. What are you willing to do to get it?
   

   If your answer to number 1 doesn’t make your whole body shake with excitement and your heart beat with exhilaration (and terror), then you need to come up with a stronger why.

   If your answer to number 2 isn’t “anything and everything — whatever it takes”, please revise your answer to number 1.

This is what the women in the film knew. They each had a strong ‘why’, and they were each willing to do “anything and everything – whatever it takes” to get it. Additionally and crucially, they actually turned their willingness into action and made it happen.

Holy wow. You and I need to not just be willing to do whatever it takes – we have to actually DO whatever it takes. That’s a whole other ball game.

My current impossible goals are to do 100 push ups and reach 100k subscribers on YouTube (read my thoughts on reviewing this goal). I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve only been putting in half-hearted effort into them.

My why is strong. My willingness to do whatever it takes is there. But my actual action is not at 100%. Time to step it up. How do I make that happen? As is my answer for most things: accountability. I need tighter and stronger accountability – if you’ve got a strong why and a die-hard willingness and you’re still not achieving your goals, then you also need tighter and stronger accountability.

I’m unsure what that will look like at this stage, but I’m going to figure it out and update you. Stay tuned!

Push ups: Week 11

Where I went running today, to warm up before my push ups.

Day: 71
Push up ability: 25

I made it to 25! That’s 1/4 of the way to my goal. I’m determined to speed up the process a bit too, so I’ve added it to my habit tracker so I’m reminded to do them daily (that’s where I track all of my other habits, like meditation, running and blogging). I said last time that I want to work on my form, and I feel like my form is definitely better, so I’m counting that as a win.

Today I did them just after I went for a run, and I found I had more energy than when I do them later in the evening, so I’m going to try to keep that up too.

I’ve also had a few people ask me to create vlogs about it. With my hectic schedule at the moment, I’m not sure if it should be a priority on my list, but it would be so cool to have a record of it for when I reach 100 in a row. Hopefully I can get some sorted!

For now, celebration that I’m at 25! I feel like I’m beginning to break a belief ceiling, because I genuinely believed for most of my life that I wasn’t physically capable of doing more than 10 or so (and I had never even done a single push up successfully because I didn’t ever train – I could only do knee push ups). Isn’t it amazing what the mind can do when it’s put to the test?

Just call me Tiger

Impossible goals or impossible holes?

This was my first ever time picking up a proper golf club (and not a mini golf club), and it was in what you might call the most impossible setting. What are the actual chances of me getting that ball even near the green, let alone into the hole? It doesn’t matter the chances if you’ve got an impossible goal. But the real question to ask is, do I even want to get it into the hole?

I think this fits a metaphor: Make sure you’re going after the right impossible goal. I’ve been reflecting on this recently – which, if any, of my impossible goals are actually for someone else to take on? Which, if any, of my impossible goals aren’t the right ones for me?

For example, I’ve been thinking about the way I’ve set up my impossible goals. For example, I have a goal of reaching 100k subscribers on YouTube. Would 99k suffice? 101k? Why 100k? Do I care about the number? Or do I care about the actual experience? Would it make more sense to readjust my goal to making 100 impactful videos? Or impacting 100 people’s lives deeply? Don’t get me wrong – I’m not giving up on my goals at all. I’m as driven and dedicated to them as possible. I’m simply examining the goal post. We all know the story of the person who got everything they ever wanted, it just turns out they wanted all the wrong things.

No changes yet – just food for thought.