How To Never Give Up

People sometimes ask me if during the two years it took to build my business, I wanted to give up.

The answer is no – because I didn't have anything to give up to.

Give up and do what?

I didn't have a career that was comfy.

I didn't have a way to make money that was easier.

I didn't have a back up plan.

Giving up would have made my life worse, not better.

So set a goal that makes giving up feel like the harder option.

There can't be an easier road.

The road to your goal has to be the only road you're willing to take.

What goal would change your life so deeply, that no matter what you have to go through to get it, giving up would actively make your life worse?

I don't mean not as good as if you hit the goal.

I mean WORSE than it is now.

You can either:

•   Find the pain you're in, and set a goal that will relieve you of that pain.

•   Find the pleasure you want and set a goal that you absolutely MUST have so that anything else feels unacceptable to your entire being

What goal would you never give up on?

It’s Okay To Change Your Mind

If saying no when you’ve already said yes makes you feel guilty, embarrassed or flaky, then nobody has told you this:

Saying yes is like flipping a coin.

The point isn’t to lock yourself into a decision, but to reveal your true desire.

Often, saying yes is the only way to find out you’re actually a no.

So buy the item and return it.
Get engaged and call it off.
Sign up and drop out.

Allow yourself to say yes, then say no.

The earlier you find out what you really want, the better.

But even if you don’t discover you’re a no until the last semester of your five-year law degree, or until you’re standing at the alter in front of your entire extended family, or until you’ve already signed all the paperwork and there’s a costly exit fee – don’t stay a yes if you’re a no.

Commitment doesn’t mean sticking to a decision forever.

It means being all in until you’re all out.

It’s okay to change your mind. Even when it’s already done.

Uncommitting is a highly underrated, powerful act.

It’s not the mark of an unreliable person, it’s the sign of an honest one.

Accepting this truth will free you, and make all your decisions feel a thousand times easier.

“Your brain can play tricks, your heart can be blind, but your gut is always right.”

– Rachel Wolchin

How To Let Going ALL IN Be Easy

1. Identify what needs to happen to create the result. Not what your perfectionist brain wants the process to look like. You can have a messy process and produce a killer result. Do you REALLY need to do all those steps you think you need to do?

2. Commit to doing what needs to happen.

3. Commit to NOT doing any extra stuff.

4. Relax. No one is going to die if you let it be easy. Goals are just for fun.

How to Nail Your Messaging

“Sarah, your messaging is so good!”

Honestly, I don’t think about messaging.

I find people with problems and I try to solve them, visibly.

Great messaging comes from actively seeking problems to solve.

Instead of asking “What does my person need to hear?”

Ask yourself “Who has a problem I can solve for free, in front of other people?”

Don’t expend energy crafting your perfect “customer avatar” or working out which adjectives best represent your brand.

Find people. Solve their problems. Let others see it.

Stop Editing Yourself

I received a message from myself today:

Stop editing yourself.

I’m not talking about cutting up a video to make it easier to listen to, or chopping out some words from a paragraph to make it more readable.

I mean editing you.

Trying to show up a certain way. To control how you’re seen.

All that control is dimming your light.

To match an ideal you have about what the perfect creator is.

Who’s ideal is that anyway? Is it really yours?

It’s not perfection you’re after.

It’s freedom.

You don’t have to try hard to be free.

You simply have to stop trying so hard.

It’s in relaxing into your messy, unedited self that your light will shine the brightest.

Let yourself be effortlessly you.

Allow yourself to burst out of every seam and colour over the lines.

Let it all pour out of you. Watch how prolific you become.

This Is What Success Looks Like

Hearing yes, then hearing no.
Receiving hate mail.
Questioning your decisions.
Getting locked out of your Facebook ad account.
Missing a day. Missing an opportunity.
Wanting to do more. Wanting to do less.
Having a meltdown.
Getting a refund request.
Being overwhelmed with things to do.
Having to fire a team member. Struggling to hire someone better.
Regretting doing something. Trying to fix it. Making it worse.
Accidentally deleting something unrecoverable.

Success is just managing bigger problems that you had before.

All these struggles aren’t on the path to success, they are success itself.

The problems you have now were your past self’s dream problems.

You will outgrow them, and the next level of problems will come.

This is what success looks like.

Success Leaves Clues

Success leaves clues.

Here are three questions to unlock those clues:

1. Why are you at your current level of success, and not further behind?

2. Why are you at your current level of success, and not further ahead?

3. What’s the difference between future you, who has achieved your goal, and current you?

Here are my answers:

Why am I at 2600 YouTube subscribers, and not at 1000 subscribers?

• I uploaded weekly for 12 weeks

• I started making videos FOR YouTube rather than making videos and putting them ON YouTube. Just because it’s on YouTube doesn’t make it a YouTube video.

• I hired an editor that made my videos a lot more watchable.

• I focused massively on titles and thumbnails

• I focused so much more on

Why am I at 2600 subscribers and not 5000 subscribers?

• I stopped creating/publishing while I moved countries (And therefore I paused hiring my editor)

• My titles and thumbnails can use so much improvement still

• The quality of my video structure isn’t at 100k level yet

What’s the difference between future me (who has 5000 subscribers), and current me (who has 2600 subscribers)?

• She puts way more thought into the titles and content

• She trains for YouTube like Michael Jordan trains for the NBA championship (and has a dedicated YouTube mentor)

• She doesn’t shy away from the hard work of creating more engaging content - she is willing to go the extra mile to get a better shot or create a better script.

• She is extremely comfortable in front of the camera (she talks to it every day until the camera feels like a person)

• Immediately she hires support again

• She has a permanent set up so all she has to do is turn on the lights and camera and GO, there’s no “set up time” required.

How would you answer those questions?

Good Design Is As Little Design As Possible

“Good design is as little design as possible.” – Dieter Rams

When I created my first coaching offer in 2018, it had a ton of features:

• Half-day coaching sessions

• Constant check ins

• Long workbooks

• Fillable PDFs

• Homework

• Journaling prompts

• Flowers (I’m not kidding. I used to send my clients a bouquet when the signed up.)

I thought my people wanted me to give them every solution to their problem.

What did they actually want?

Their problem solved.

Nobody actually wants more. They just want the result.

Once I figured that out, my offer was simple:

Weekly coaching sessions. That’s it.

And now that my practice is full, I’m in the process of creating a new offer that can hold more people.

I watched my brain slide back into my old pattern of thinking that it would require me to offer more.

But I caught myself. Nope.

Don’t create a Swiss Army knife solution for a problem that can be solved with a knife.

Just create a sharper knife.

This Has All Been Given To Me

From left to right: Me, my mother Jan Arnold, and actor Jason Clarke. Shot by Greg Williams at the Everest Premiere at the Venice Film Festival in 2015.

“I walk into a room, or a location, and the first thing I think is… this has all been given to me. The sun is at that point in the sky for a reason. Or the window is letting some light in for a reason. Or the light next to the bed is there for a reason. The environment has been dressed like that, all for me. It’s a little game I play. And then I think, okay where do I want to make my photo within that?” – Greg Williams, Photographer

This has all been given to you.
The impossible challenge you’re facing has been given to you so you can become exactly who you were meant to be.

So you can create a legacy that only someone with your specific combination of beautiful and brutal experiences could create.

This has all been given to you.

Gradually, Then Suddenly.

“How did you go bankrupt?”
“Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly.”

– Ernest Hemingway

My overnight viral success on Twitter occurred after publishing more than 1000 pieces of content online.

My burst of $10k months began in September 2020 after more than two years of barely making a part time income.

Gradually, then suddenly isn’t just the path to bankruptcy.

It’s also the path to success.

If you’re in the gradual part of your journey right now, don’t be fooled into thinking that’s all there is.

The sudden part is coming.

It’s THIS CLOSE.

But only if you embrace the gradual part and keep going.

So if it seems like nothing is working, do not stop.

Do not switch tactics.
Do not change strategies.
Do not seek new solutions.

You’ll sabotage the momentum you’ve built up in your current direction, and end up back at the starting line.

Gradual progress means it’s working.

Someone said no? It’s working.
Someone said yes? It’s working.
Small win? It’s working.
Big fail? It’s working.

It’s working. It’s always working. It never stops working.
As long as you don’t stop working.

Keep going. The sudden bit is coming.