Future-Self Care

Unpopular opinion: 

Self care isn’t just bubble baths and yoga.

Self care is also doing the thing you really DON’T feel like doing, so you can relax for the evening without it niggling at the back of your mind.

It’s staying up late to finish the project you’ve been meaning to do.

It’s posting again today even when no one liked your post yesterday.

It’s prioritizing the things you don’t enjoy so you can do the things you love later.

And zero hate on bubble baths. I love a bubble bath as much as the next person. But I also love hitting my goals. And self-care is important. But so is future-self care.

Self-care is anything that supports you AND your future self.

Waiting For Results

I’m an avid action taker.

Action what creates our results.

But then what?

Action is only the first step.

The real work is staying in the trusting energy. Staying in the knowing energy. Staying in the believing energy.

Doing the work, and not freaking out if there’s a delay time between action and result.

Taking action. Patiently waiting. Loving yourself before the results come in.

What if You're Just In The Middle of Creating the Result?

It's so easy to think that if we haven’t created the end result yet, then it’s not going to happen at all, and so we should just go and watch Netflix in bed.

But what if you’re just in the middle of achieving your goal?

Because if you’ve already started putting in effort, then you’re already part of the way.

You’re in the middle of creating a house downpayment.

You’re in the middle of creating a client.

You’re in the middle of winning a championship.

You’re in the middle of making the money.

You’re in the middle of losing weight.

Even if it seems like you’re not getting anywhere, in fact, you’re just in the middle of your goal.

I'm in the middle of healing my shoulder so I can do 100 push ups in a row.

What are you in the middle of?

If You Only Kinda Want It, You're Only Kinda Gonna Get It

If you only kinda want it, you’re only kinda gonna get it. – Matheson Brown

You have to want it bad.

More than anyone.

More than you did yesterday.

More than anything else in your life.

And when you want it that bad, you’ll be willing to do whatever it takes.

Anything.

The rules no longer apply.

You’re not afraid to knock on every door in your neighbourhood to ask for donations.

You’re not afraid to ring up people you haven’t spoken to in 10 years and ask for help.

You’re not afraid to look like you’re trying really, really hard.

When you want it bad, all excuses fall away.

Whenever we set a goal to grow this group, we always surpass it. It doesn't matter if I set the goal to grow by 500, 800 or 1000 members. We ALWAYS surpass it by the deadline. Because we want it bad.

When I set my goal to do 40 push-ups in a month, I surpassed it and hit 50. Because I wanted it SO bad.

When I decided I was no longer willing to settle for a job a hated, the flip switched in me and I went from trying to create some income as a coach to committing to making a full-time income as a coach – whatever it took. And it worked.

I talk to a lot of people about their goals. It's what I do all day – I get on Zoom and I coach people on their most impossible goals.

And sometimes, people tell me they want their goals 10/10.

And then they have 300 excuses about why they can't do what they need to do to get it.

You can tell me you want your goal bad, but until you are truly willing to do whatever it takes, no excuses, you won't get it.

So the question is, how bad do you really want it?

Holding Belief

What I’m currently working on: holding the belief that “it is working” before I see the result.

I noticed there is a pattern to my goals, and one of the phases is the “Eeeeeek what if this doesn’t work?” phase.

And it is never, ever helpful.

I always get out of it. But I’m working on moving through it more quickly, until eventually, I never experience a “what if this doesn’t work” thought.

Because even when we put in crazy effort, there’s usually a delay time between the action we’re taking, and result we want to see.

Our job is to keep holding that belief that IT IS WORKING.

My favourite thought right now: It is ALREADY working.

Just in Case

Just in case no one has asked you: What do you truly, deeply desire? 

Life Update: Moving Cities

This week, my partner and I signed to rent an apartment in Wellington, New Zealand. Woot woot! #Celebrate!

(It’s like, a ridiculously hot market right now so to get an apartment we actually like is a huge triumph!)

When COVID hit England, we immediately headed home to New Zealand, and we’ve been living in various parts of the country since then. But our ultimate plan was always to move back to Wellington (where we lived and studied at University before moving to Brighton, England).

It’s been almost three whole years since we left (almost as long as we lived there!) and we’re both SO excited to head back and begin a new chapter in Wellington.

Watch this space!

My February Motto

My February Motto: What would Elle Woods do?

How To Know If You'll Hit Your Goal

I can always tell if someone is going to hit their goal – even if they haven’t said what their goal is.

Because achieving your goal has literally nothing to do with the goal itself.

It’s purely about the way you’re pursuing it.

There are only 3 steps to achieving any goal (even an impossible one).

1. Create a simple plan

2. Actually do the things in the plan

3. Manage your thoughts about it

It doesn’t matter if your goal is to start a business or write a book or create a new client – if one of these steps is missing, it’s going to stop you right in your tracks.

And I see this all the time – passionate people, with all the motivation in the world, and somehow they’re still stuck.

Because their plan is too complicated.

And they’re not actually doing the things they know they should be doing.

And they’re freaking out over any obstacle that shows up.

These three steps might seem simple, but my clients would agree – nothing has been more important to their success.

It’s how my client Keira opened a book shop in 9 weeks.

And how my client Katrin’s program completely sold out on her first launch.

And how my client Niamh signed a celebrity client.

And how my client Nancy became a digital nomad and moved to Colombia.

And how I grew an audience of over 24,000 people and became my own boss.

If you’re serious about hitting your goal, your job is to spend all of your energy focused on nailing these three steps – and zero energy on anything that takes you away from them.

1. Create a simple plan

2. Actually do the things in the plan

3. Manage your thoughts about it

Throw out the rest.

5 Practical Ideas For Creating Any Result You Want

I am relentlessly resourceful. It’s true. I will always find a way to create the result I’m after. Even when it feels like I’ve exhausted all the options. I will find a way, because I’ve decided that’s who I am. (You can decide it’s true about you too).

Resourceful things I did to get my boyfriend and me to Bora Bora on a budget:

• I called every travel agent in town. I spoke to dozens of different representatives. I scoured every booking site on the internet to find the best deal possible.

• We had two pieces of carry-on luggage. One, we filled with clothes. The other, we filled with two-minute noodles. I'm 100% serious. We ate them for dinner every day to save money. (Hey – we were students, so we were used to it – and they taste a lot better when you’re lying on a beach in the south pacific).

• We stalked Google Earth for local food options and found a corner shop that sold 30c baguettes.

• We went in off-peak season.

• We stayed in a normal hotel – on land, rather than over water. They don't advertise those, but if you're on a mission, you can find them. It was just as luxurious. And we saved $10,000.

So today I wanted to share a list of starter ideas to get the creativity flowing when you need to be resourceful.

1. Make a list of people who have exactly what you want and email every single one of them for advice: even if they’re famous or you’ve never met them before. All you need is one reply.

2. Send a message to every person you know on Facebook asking if they know anyone who can help you with what you need.

3. Figure out the person who can give you what you want (nearly always when we want something in life, we have to get it from someone else – whether that’s a brilliant personal trainer or a book publisher or a psychologist).

4. Find out TPB; their personal bonus. What is it that they want? How can you give it to them?

5. Ask 1000 people. You can have anything you want if you ask enough people.

What else should be on this list? Let me know in the comments!