Messing Up

Ugh. You know that feeling when you mess up and it just can't be undone?

It's the worst.

That happened today. I missed a call with someone very important to me. For the third time in a row.

I cried.

I couldn't understand how it happened.

It just did.

I felt like beating myself up over it.

I googled searched what to do when you mess up.

The search results were not what I wanted to hear.

Complicated emotions can't be solved in a WikiHow 3 step process.

We have to feel the emotion. Allow ourselves to go through whatever we need to go through.

One of my favourite authors, Gabby Bernstein, talks about how until you feel the anger or sadness or whatever emotion it is, you can't actually move forward in the letting go process. Sometimes, you just have to yell and scream and get mad.

So this morning, instead of fighting the anger with myself, I let it in. I told myself off in the mirror. I cried in the shower.

And now, even though there is damage to repair and I don't know if the person will forgive me – I'm ready to accept it and love myself anyway.