Existing without social media

There is a part of me that craves a lifestyle without social media. No more scrolling, no more random messages, no more curating a lifestyle that isn’t totally real (because no matter how hard you try, can you really be authentic and transparent on social media?). What I’m currently doing isn’t working. I spend hours a day, whether intentionally or not, on social media. Sometimes consuming, sometimes creating, always wasting time. I started coaching to coach, so why am I spending far more time on this mind-numbing machine than on coaching?

This is a thought that has been crossing my mind a lot today: What if I lived without social media? How could my life be better with less social media? What if my coaching practice didn’t have a social media presence?

I’ve thought, “If I’m not on social media, how will I add value?”

Ha. How ridiculous is that? Social media has been around for a decade. People have been adding value to others since the beginning of human existence. And yet, I bet you’ve thought you couldn’t live without it, too.

I love writing a blog, and I love creating videos. This little section of the internet that I can create with no rules, is fantastic. The part I don’t like, is the nasty comments, the mindless dribble that I get in my inbox: “hey.” and the endless hours of wasted time checking every single notification. This is not value. This is not living a meaningful life.

Deleting social media:

Pros:
More time.
Fewer distractions.
Less stress.
More meaning.

Cons:
Harder to be found (but maybe that’s a good thing, too?).
No way to share your content.
Harder for people to reach you.

Here are some options I’m considering:

1. Deleting/hiding all of my public social media accounts

2. Keeping the accounts, but deleting my access to them. Aka, people would still be able to find me and follow me, but I wouldn’t be present.

3. Just keeping the accounts that add true value: YouTube, my personal Facebook account (for my friends and family only, with News Feed Eradicator turned on).

4. Having no online presence… at all. Going totally off the grid. Word of mouth only. This is the option I’m least considering, but I like to keep it open.

I’ll keep you posted on what I choose. Or maybe I won’t. Then you’ll know I’ve gone with option four.

Gary Vee Mode: Review

I love Gary Vaynerchuk as much as the next overcaffeinated 23-year-old start-up founder. Which is exactly why last week I decided to take on the challenge of Gary Vee Mode, where for 4 days in a row, I planned to:

1. Post on my blog (as usual)

2. Post on Instagram

3. Post on Facebook

4. Post on Instagram stories (10x minimum)

5. Film and post a YouTube video

6. Post on Tik Tok

Some of this went to plan. Some of this did not go to plan. Here’s why:

1. I did post on my blog every single day, as usual. One night, I was up until 2:30am doing it, but I managed it, because it is a priority to me. (For reference, the only time I don’t post on my blog on time is when I’m traveling and have no internet access on a flight (although I’m working on this for the future, having posts scheduled in advance.)

2. I only posted on Instagram two out of four of the days. There’s really no excuse. However, my reason is that I want to only put out content on my Instagram I’m super happy with, and I wasn’t happy with the content I would have posted. What I should have done, was make the goal to “create beautiful photos”, as posting on Instagram seems to be a natural byproduct of that.

3. Post on Facebook. My Instagram content gets “pushed” to Facebook, so my answer is the same as above.

4. Post on Instagram Stories (10x minimum). I did post on Instagram stories, every single day. But I only managed 1 day where I posted 10x, and on that day I noticed I was proactively thinking about posting the things I was doing, rather than just hoping they would happen in the moment.

5. Film and post a YouTube video. I’m actually impressed I managed 2 out of 4 days! Especially considering that I have only got about 8 videos on my entire channel, so two extra in 4 days is great. Learning lesson: plan ahead what you will create! I didn’t end up creating more because my days ended up filled with so many other things, and I didn’t have a plan.

6. Post on Tik Tok. Woohoo! I managed to post a video on Tik Tok every single day of these 4 days. It felt like one of the most straight forward ones, so I always managed to do that. There was one day where I felt like I couldn’t be bothered, but I did it anyway. Woop woop!

What are my overall learning lessons?

• Gary Vee Mode is supposed to be intense, that’s the whole point.

• I needed to leave room for error. Or in my case, just life. On the first day, I completed absolutely everything, because I squeezed the most out of every moment. But the next day, my mum invited me for a 3 hour car trip to our national park, and I decided to go. 3 hours was enough to throw off the whole plan. Gary Vee would have said no to his mum. I wasn’t willing to do that.

• If I do Gary Vee Mode again, it will be altered. It will be more specific, and less insignificant. Posting on Facebook, for example, is not my #1 priority. I have to remember: the main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing. So, next time, I will really carve out what is important to me.

What would Gary say to me? I think he would say I focused my energy on the wrong things. If they really mattered to me, I would make them happen (aka, the blog).

So next time I do Gary Vee Mode, it will be something along the lines of:

• YouTube

• Instagram

• Blog
  
  And doing them all with 100% energy and passion.

Let me know if you try Gary Vee Mode or something similar, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Pockets of Routine

Delicious granola I had today – totally irrelevant to this post but absolutely worth posting because it’s so pretty!

Traveling has thrown my habits far off balance, and it really makes me think about how important routine is for habit formation. But a lot of the time, we don’t have a constant routine. Solution?

Create pockets of routine.

No matter where you wake up, do a one-minute meditation. No matter when you go to sleep, say something you’re grateful for. (These are just examples, not a prescription.)

I’m going to try to build more pockets of routine into my day, so I’ll let you know how it goes - off to do some push-ups now.

AKL > WLG

My cousin’s beautiful girlfriend, Julie. How delish is this hotel room?

We flew from Auckland to Wellington today for my uncle’s wedding tomorrow! I’m seriously excited to see everyone, there’s people coming from all over the world – different parts of Asia, USA, Europe, UK, Australia and everywhere in New Zealand.

I mentioned in yesterday’s post how its been a bit tricky staying on top of my good habits while travelling, so I’m determined to get back into a good routine tomorrow.

Tomorrow’s plan:

• Sleep in (I’m a little jet lagged)

• Meditate

• Gratitude journal

• Workout, including push ups (and then I’ve earned my shower!)

• Café trip (this is guaranteed if you’re with my family, haha!)

• Get dressed up for the wedding

• Taking a million family photos

• Wedding ceremony

• Dancing

• Blog

• More dancing(?)
  

  That is, if it all goes to plan (everything could easily change, family events tend to be chaos!).

Habit update

We arrived into NZ absolutely exhausted but super happy to be here! We are here for my Uncle’s wedding and I’m absolutely ridiculously excited to see everyone. I thought I’d give you a habit update today because I do quite a few things every single day, and I realise I don’t share my progress of them enough.

• Fear of Flying: totally amazing. I’m so so so grateful I stumbled upon a way to overcome this. London to Auckland is almost one of the longest flight times and layovers you can take in the world, and in the past I have found these terrifying. The combination of fear, exhaustion, bad plane food (or no plane food, if they didn’t get our request for vegan meals) and stress used to be a recipe for a major internal meltdown. I used to find it excruciating to fly, especially on my own. I’m actually writing this in the sky on our domestic flight from Auckland to Wellington, during some pretty intense turbulence! But this entire trip, I felt happy, free and safe the whole time. I’m so relieved I’m done with being afraid! If you have any questions about how I overcame my fear want or to chat about it (for free of course) email me at hello@saraharnoldhall.com.
  

• 100 Push Ups: I was considering doing some push ups in the airport but I was just so sleepy I didn’t manage any at all. I’m a little nervous about achieving my October goal of 25 push ups in a row, as I’ve really been pretty slack on it. I received the most lovely email from someone telling me they’re enjoying my push ups journey and that I should make vlogs on the days I train. What do you guys think? Would you want to watch them?
  
  365 Days of Meditation: Currently on day 208. This morning I saw my aunt’s meditation space/sanctuary with pillows, prayer flags and candles, and it was so cosy! I realised I’d like to make a dedicated meditation space in our house at home too, because it will also make it easier for me to define what actually “counts” as having meditated that day. Every time I tried to meditate on the flights to NZ I just fell asleep, haha! I still managed to get a few minutes on each flight though, so that’s good. I’m working on making this habit more about really enjoying doing it, and less about just ticking it off my daily to do list.

• No complaining for 21 days: I don’t complain a lot, but occasionally I’ll notice a complaint just slip out, which is the whole idea behind doing this challenge – to train my brain not to allow negative thinking on the automatic program it runs. I’ve had to restart a bunch of times (15, to be exact), but I do think I’m becoming more aware of it. If I’m honest with myself, I haven’t been totallly dedicated setting the intention to not complain daily, which is why I think I haven’t seen the progress I’d like. I’ve been doing it for 56 days and currently on day 6 of no complaining (since I start again each time I complain). The longest I’ve gone without complaining is 10 days (almost half way to the goal!).
  

• Running before showering/earning my showers. Flying really threw me off this actually, for the first time. However, I think it’s really important to make planned exceptions, and I knew flying would, so I did. I made the exception that I could shower before and after the flights without exercising, just to reduce any unnecessary stress or exhaustion. What’s really important is that I made these exceptions BEFOREHAND - not in the moment. That way, I know I’m not just being lazy or making excuses. Tomorrow is the wedding and it’s tempting to just have a shower first thing, but nope! I’m going to do a workout (especially working on push ups) first.
  

• Gratitude journal: Okay, this one I have been shocking at. There’s no sugar-coating it. I just haven’t made it a priority, which needs to change. I’ve just downloaded an app to answer my questions on there instead. I’m making a commitment to do it tomorrow morning!
  

• Daily blogging for two years: This a habit I have been very dedicated with, aside from time when I was flying and physically couldn’t post. I’m not sure if the content I’m creating is resonating with people, but I’m just going to keep going until I find my groove. The thing that I’m working on the most right now is posting better photos with my written content. I have dreams of photographing more beautiful shots for this blog, as there are many blogs I follow with stunning photographic content and I think it really enhances the blog overall.

Chill

Sometimes I’m so go go go that I forget to relax, so I’ve started scheduling time into my calendar to relax. Instead of making relaxation a reward for completing all the things (all the things never actually get done), seeing it as it's own important aspect of life (because it is – our brains and bodies need time to rejuvenate in order to function at 100%). It might seem a little over the top to actually schedule relaxation into your schedule, but tonight I did and it worked really well (we watched Cool Runnings and did face masks, which was a brilliant combination). I didn’t feel guilty for taking time off because I had scheduled it into my week – not that I should feel guilty anyway, but it can be easy to get so focused anything else feels like a distraction. Tomorrow we head to Cardiff for the weekend, which I’m really excited about because I’m looking forward to a break from our usual routine.

6 months of daily meditation: review

I don’t have a photo of me meditating because I’m almost always alone with my eyes closed (not ideal conditions for a photo!)

I’ve just hit 183 - the halfway mark to my goal of 365 days of meditating! Here’s a review:

1. It’s only in the last few weeks that I’ve really been pushing myself to meditate in the morning no matter what. It’s such a relief not to get into bed at 12:30 and think “ah! I forgot to meditate!” I’m trying to make morning meditation a non-negotiable.

2. Some days, I do a 30 minute guided meditation, and other days, it’s 5 minutes of deep, focused breathing. I’m not regimented about it - I do what I feel like, which keeps it enjoyable and fun, and not a chore. I think this is a major key to habit formation. Keeping it FUN (e.g. I could be running harder and faster, I could be doing more push up training, but I’m determined to keep them enjoyable and fun, so I just focus on keeping the habits).

3. I’m most surprised about this: I don’t think I’ve progressed in terms of being able to focus on my breath for longer. I’m equally as distracted as I was when I began. I’m not sure if this is because I’m not working on it very much (e.g. 5 or 10 mins a day compared to hours), or if I’m just not “doing it right” - an idea that I very much resist, as that’s not my aim of meditating (see point 4).

4. My aim is to feel good and enjoy it in the moment. This isn’t really about “getting to 365 days” as a goal - it’s about forming the habit of taking care of myself. I just love a challenge - it gets me more excited than “meditate every day” would. (I’ve tried that too, for the past 10 years, and failed miserably, so tip, if you’re struggling to form a habit, make it a challenge!).

5. I love guided meditations the most. Today I did an incredibly blissful 5 minute one.

6. It still doesn’t feel like a habit, because I’m doing it at different times of the day. However, I know from past experience that if I stopped, after a few days I would really notice and crave it.

7. When I’m anxious or stressed, I often think to meditate as a solution. It works!

8. I’m looking forward to the next 182 days - I’m so grateful I started this challenge.

My top 3 guided meditation recommendations:

• Calm Guided Meditation to Gain Abundance, Love & Happiness | Bob Proctor

• 5 Minute Stress Relief Guided Meditation | The Honest Guys

• Prosperity Guided Meditation | YouAreCreators

Do you have a meditation practice? Let me know about yours in the comments by clicking the blog title!

Counting my blessings

It’s so easy to think we aren’t doing well. Not succeeding fast enough, not making enough cash, not getting enough likes on Facebook. I hate to admit it, but I get caught up in this trap sometimes. The “I should be further ahead by now” trap. I was feeling it today.

But I just went out now to get something to eat from the corner store, and outside there was a man begging for £2.30 so he would have enough to get a room in a hostel for the night. He was sober and really quite sweet. I gave him the money - which I don’t ordinarily do passing by - but I just felt today it was right. When someone is begging me to help them get a bed - what would I want someone to do, if I was in that position? I know there’s a lot of politics around whether you should give money or not, but in the end, I just have to go with my heart. I wouldn’t sleep tonight if I knew he might not have a bed because of my actions.

I remembered something I’d heard a while ago - that when someone asks something of you, they are really giving a gift to you. I didn’t help him, he helped me. He helped me by giving me the opportunity to walk my talk of compassion. He helped me by reminding me how grateful I am to have a roof over my head, food, a support network of friends and family, and my health. He helped me by giving me an opportunity to make this world a better place - even in the smallest, tiniest way - something I want my life to represent.

And now he’s helping share a message. Count your blessings. Your worst-case scenario is probably someone else’s dream life. I’m not even really writing this for you, reader. It’s just a note to self: don’t forget this.

Consistency

Does this quote haunt you? It kind of haunts me. I think about all the things I would have achieved had I followed through with my plans. All the things I had planned to do. But I didn’t do them, did I? (E.g. when I was 16-18 it was my dream to be a DJ/producer like Avicii or Martin Garrix, and I didn’t take enough action. I bought a turntable, but I didn’t practise!). Not even because I was lazy, or didn’t work hard enough. Just purely because I wasn’t consistent enough with my actions.

Some of you will be thinking I’m totally right. And there are others who will be thinking I’m being way too harsh. I don’t believe I’m being too harsh. Because I think in general, we let ourselves off the hook too easily for the things we can control, and we blame ourselves too easily for the things we can’t control.

Here are some of the things that are waiting for me on the other side of consistency:

1. A thriving YouTube channel. I know very well that the only reason I haven’t progressed my YouTube channel is because I haven’t been posting consistently. That’s about to change, because this month I committed to creating 4 videos.

2. Long term financial stability. I didn’t ever have a decent plan. I just sort of thought “I’ll save up money and then spend it and then save again.” Isn’t that what people do? (The answer is yes. But that doesn’t mean it works well!) Now I’m following financial guru Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps for financial peace. It really has given me peace of mind.

3. 100 push ups. I can do about 10-13 at the moment. I haven’t progressed very far from my last few weeks because I haven’t been making training a priority (so just got down and did 10 right now - gotta walk the walk if I talk the talk!).

4. Windmills. I’ve been wanting to get this breakdancing move since I was 15. Have I been practicing consistently? Nope. I haven’t even attempted one for a couple of years. And you know what’s crazy? I reckon I could get it in a few months if I practiced consistently enough, because last time I tried, I could do half a revolution. But I’ve been stuck at half a revolution for 8 years! It doesn’t need to take that long. I never mentioned it, but this is my main motivation for getting 100 push ups. My upper body strength (and balance) has been holding me back a bit. I don’t currently have a plan for when I’ll begin training again. But it’s one of my 8 Impossible Goals currently on my list (which you can read here).

5. French. I studied it for FIVE YEARS and I still can’t speak it properly. Did I work hard? Yes. Was I consistent? Nope. Still a major goal.

What is waiting for you on the other side of consistency?

Trying out editing

If you saw my September Goals you’ll know I have a plan to work on my photography for my blog, because I absolutely love reading blogs with delicious photography. I was hoping to get out and take some snaps today, but I didn’t get a chance because I was working most of the day, editing the next Impossible Incubator masterclass. So I decided to have a go editing some photos from our travels in Greece, so I’m still working towards my goal of having beautiful photography, by building up my editing skillset instead.

I also complained today about not getting enough work done - oops! Back to day 1 on the 21 day no complaining challenge.